Fix You
by moonshoesangel
Summary: Kurt has had enough of the bullying and reaches the end of his rope. An ethereal being in the form of a past tortured soul is sent to save him. Will this Blaine boy be Kurt's savior? AU. Klaine. ghost!Blaine. May trigger! Especially Ch. 3.
1. Giving Up

**New ****story for you guys! ok, so I was trollin' tumblr, as most nerdy individuals dooooo, and I found a prompt by evarren on my dash. It was about Kurt struggling with the bullies and school and almost giving up when Blaine, a ghost of a boy who commited suicide for the same reasons, finds him and has to help him so he can move on. I was so inspired by this because I had sort of thought of this before but I didn't really think much of it. I'm sure someone has already filled the prompt but I felt like taking a stab at it. Here it is. Lyrics in this chapter are from "Fix You" by Coldplay (also where the title of the story comes from and a good bit of the foundation of the plot comes from) and "Turning Tables" by Adele. You may recognize a certain sinister villain in this story as well. Enjoy.**

**Also wanna thank all of you for your support of my decision to join the Guard. Unfortunately, I was discharged for anxiety and depression and came home early. I'll just try and be the best damn civilian I can be. No shame in that ;).**

* * *

><p><em>Lights will guide you home <em>  
><em>And ignite your bones <em>  
><em>And I will try <em>  
><em>To fix you<em>

_Slam._

"Aah," Kurt grunted as his shoulder collided with the locker for the third time that day.

"Watch where you're going, faggot," an anonymous voice called back at him, the sound of a high five echoing in his ears like a gunshot. Kurt leaned his head back against the locker and took a deep breath. His heart was pounding and his eyes were burning with unshed tears. He couldn't cry. Not here.

"Kurt? You ok?" Mr. Shuester, the glee club teacher approached him, looking concerned.

Kurt jumped, but straightened up. "Fine..."

Mr. Shuester clasped his shoulder. "Are you sure? You look pale-"

"I'm fine, ok?" Kurt shrugged off his hand and backed away, feeling suffocated by the touch. "I'm just not feeling too well...I think I'm gonna go home."

"Ok," Mr. Shue replied. "Be sure to check out at the office."

Kurt just turned and walked briskly toward the office, his chest starting to constrict. It was torture. His life had been this way for the past three years- all through his high school years. It was his third day of senior year and he was already in panic mode. Kurt Hummel was a proud, steadfast seventeen year old with no shame in showing who he really is. Lately, however, the venom of the other students' words were seeping beneath his skin, making him change slowly into a reclusive, nervous person that he never would have recognized.

Kurt checked out without much explanation except 'headache' and all but ran to his Navigator, slamming the door and leaning back against the head rest, the tears he had been holding back spilling out onto his pale cheeks.

Kurt was gay. Anyone with two eyes would have known it. It was part of him and had always been. He was 'that gay kid in glee club' to most of the population of McKinley High School. He had plenty of friends, but it was obvious that none of them really understood him. They often shot him sorrowful looks when he would get shoved aside in the hall or called degrading names, but they didn't exactly jump in to defend him. No one wanted to get involved with defending the gay kid in fear of being called equally degrading names. Kurt understood, but it didn't mean it didn't make him feel alone.

Truthfully, he wasn't alone. He did have one thing that kept him somewhat grounded. Sebastian.

Sebastian was his boyfriend. They had only been together a short time, but Kurt clung to him like an anchor. Their relationship wasn't exactly one he had always dreamed of, but Sebastian was there. Sebastian understood him. His friends didn't like him at all, saying he was too controlling and snobbish, but behind closed doors, he cared for Kurt in ways that his friends never could.

After finally pulling himself together and slowing his racing heart, he cranked his car to sped him, anxious for the seclusion of his room. When he pulled in, he inwardly groaned as he saw his step-mother's car in the drive way. He loved Carole, but he had really hoped to be alone. Kurt opened the door and tried to tiptoe to the stairs, but Carole heard him.

"Burt? Is that you?" she called from the living room where a news story about a young teenager was playing across the screen.

"No...it's me," Kurt called back. Carole stood from the couch and walked into the foyer.

"Kurt? What's wrong? Why are you home so early?"

Kurt avoided eye contact. Moms always knew when kids had been crying. "Just feeling a little sick. I just wanna go to my room if that's ok."

Carole nodded and cupped his cheek. "You don't feel warm. I'll leave you to it, then."

Kurt nodded and moved away from her touch, turning to move up the stairs and toward his room. When he closed the door, he sank to the floor and drew his knees up to his chest. The constricting feeling was coming back and he took a deep breath before slowly letting it out. The quiet was starting to bother him a little so he stood up and moved over to his iHome and turned on his iPod, a song that meant the world to him popping up immediately. He had been listening to it the night before after he got off the phone with Sebastian. They had fought and made up coldly and he was convinced it was his fault. As Adele flooded his room, he plopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling and let the words wash over him.

_Close enough to start a war _  
><em>All that I have is on the floor <em>  
><em>God only knows what we're fighting for <em>  
><em>All that I say, you always say more<em>

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_  
><em> Under your thumb I can't breathe<em>

It was all true. Kurt was already trapped in a world where people thought he was a disgrace, but in a relationship with a very charming boy who was just like him, he felt like he was being tied down. He almost feared escape. Sebastian was controlling, but Kurt always defended him saying he was having a bad day or that that's just the way he was. Kurt was never one to be controlled. He was strong and proud. Kurt met Sebastian at a bad time in his life and he gave Kurt the stability he needed. Someone to lean on for support. It scared him to death to know that Sebastian, the controlling, lust-driven boy that he was, had such power in his life.

Kurt's phone buzzed and Sebastian's face lit up the screen. Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat and answered it.

"Hello?"

_"Hey, babe,"_ his cool, high voice drifted through the speaker. _"I came to pick you up for coffee, but your brother said you left. What's up?"_

"Under the weather, that's all," Kurt turned onto his side.

_"Aw, angel,"_ Sebastian cooed. _"I bet I could make it better."_

Kurt closed his eyes and breathed out. He knew that voice.

"Sebastian, not today."

_"I'll be there in ten minutes,"_ Sebastian said before disconnecting the call. Kurt groaned and lay his phone down. A knock at the door signaled Carole and he mumbled a 'come in'.

"Kurt? I'm going to the grocery store. Need anything?"

After shaking his head, she walked in and sat on the end of his bed. "Have you heard about that boy in Westerville? Hung himself in his dorm at Dalton Academy. Tragic."

"Yeah, they were talking about that today in French," Kurt said dully. He only casually heard it, trying to block out some of the horrible things they were saying about the boy.

"Kurt...if something's wrong...you'll tell me, right?" she looked upset. "It's just...it really shook me. He was yours and Finn's age...you just know that if anything is going on, you can talk to me."

Kurt sat up and smiled a small smile. "I know, Carole. Thanks."

She blinked quickly and patted his hand. "I'll be back later."

Kurt nodded and watched her leave. Just before she walked out, he heard her greeting Sebastian at the front door. A moment later, he appeared at the door in his blazer and tie.

"We got out early today. Anderson caused a bit of a stir," he strode in and sat down on Kurt's bed.

"You mean the kid who killed himself? You know him?"

"Not really. He was in the Warblers with me, but he didn't say much. Weird kid," Sebastian shrugged and edged closer to Kurt, placing a hand on his upper thigh. "Now, I believe I was here to make you feel better."

"Sebastian, I said not today, ok?" Kurt said a little breathlessly. Sebastian simply leaned over and placed soft kisses to the side of Kurt's neck, reveling in the shiver he got from it.

"Aw, come on...you always feel so much better after," Sebastian lay Kurt back and straddled Kurt, his hips pressing down into Kurt's. Kurt couldn't help the gasp that escaped and the betrayal of his body as his cock twitched to life in his jeans.

"Sebastian...stop, ok?" Kurt tried to sit up. Sebastian gripped his shoulders and pushed him back down, his eyes burning.

"We've talked about this, Kurt," his voice was now low and gravely. "You know how this works. I don't just stop."

Kurt strained against the hold on his shoulders, but moaned softly as Sebastian grinded down on him. A smile crept across Sebastian's face.

"See? You love this."

Sebastian released his shoulders to remove his blazer, tie and shirt, revealing his tanned, muscular chest. He gripped Kurt's collar and pulled him up for a passionate kiss. Kurt could do nothing but kiss back, his throat closing up slightly as he fought back tears. He didn't want this. Not now. Sebastian clawed open Kurt's shirt and pushed him back down on the bed to unbutton his jeans. Kurt closed his eyes against the fear he felt and tried to be anywhere else but where he was at that moment. There was suddenly a feeling he had like someone was watching him- not Sebastian who was busy sliding his jeans down his legs, but someone else. He glanced around and caught a glimpse of something translucent disappearing in the corner of the room. Confused, Kurt barely noticed when Sebastian's lips closed around him and a finger slid inside him.

"Fuck," Kurt gasped, pulling back slightly against the pain of the intrusion. Sebastian gripped his hip and held him down. Kurt felt another finger enter him and a tear escaped. His heart hammered against his chest and the crippling fear of being trapped conquered him. All he could do was lie there and let his boyfriend have him.

Thirty minutes later, Sebastian slid his shoes back on and stood up, zipping his slacks back up and adjusting his tie back into place. "I'll see you tomorrow,  
>gorgeous," he winked and walked out. Kurt slid his boxer briefs back on and sat up carefully, his backside burning slightly. He felt disgusting. Used. Violated.<br>He stood up and locked his door quickly before walking over to his en suite bathroom and opening the medicine cabinet. His razor that barely got used was sitting innocently on the shelf. He took it down and examined the silver blades inside. One slip and it could all be over. He glanced down at his milky white wrists and a sudden feeling of control swept over him. He finally felt it. What he had been wanting the whole time. Kurt went back to his bedroom and sat on the end of his bed, the razor held at his wrist. He knew if he pressed hard enough, he would finally have control of something. He could end the feeling of fear and submission and regret.

Then he couldn't. Kurt threw the razor against the wall and dropped his elbows onto his knees, gripping his hair tightly in his fists and letting out a frustrated growl. He couldn't even control his own death. Why was the world doing this to him? Making him feel so lost and weak?

A cold chill quickly shot up Kurt's spine. A feeling like a hand pressed in the center of his back caused him to jump and turn around, but no one was there. He shook his head. Now he's going crazy too?

"You're not crazy," he heard a somewhat distant voice say. Kurt stood up and stared at his bed, looking for whoever it belonged to.

"Kurt," the voice said again, a form appearing slowly on his bed. There, in the center of his bed, was a silvery figure of a boy. His hair looked like it may have once been dark and his eyes were kind and shining with a soft smile like the one on his lips. He sat cross-legged on the bed in a pair of tight jeans, cuffed at the bottom, a white t-shirt with three small buttons at the top, and a pair of black converse. Kurt stared open-mouthed at the boy, not really sure what he was seeing.

"Come sit," the boy moved over, his form becoming more solid. Kurt didn't move, but he let his mouth close.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. Come on, Kurt."

"How do you know my name?" Kurt finally asked, his voice shaky.

"I know everything about you," the boy smiled warmly. "If you'll have a seat, I'll explain everything."

Kurt's eyes traveled to the boy's neck. There around the base was a dark bruised ring that circled around to the back. Rope burns decorated the center of it.

"A-are you..." Kurt stammered, indicating the boy's neck.

"Dead?" the boy smiled. "Yeah..."

Kurt stumbled back to his desk chair and sat down, feeling dizzy.

"Easy," the boy stood up off the bed and made his way slowly toward Kurt. "Are you ok?"

"There's a dead guy in my bedroom," Kurt said mostly to himself.

"I can explain-"

"What is wrong with me?" Kurt ran his fingers through his hair.

"Well, you're talking to yourself and you sort of fell out...that's two things," the boy smirked and leaned against Kurt's desk.

Kurt sneered at the boy and ran a hand over his face. "What do you want with me?"

"Well, I've been given a mission of sorts," the boy crossed his arms over his broad chest. Kurt couldn't help but admire how beautiful the boy must have been. Even in his ethereal state he was gorgeous. "I'm stuck in limbo, basically. I can't go on just yet."

"Go on?" Kurt asked.

"To Heaven," the boy said matter-of-factly.

"So that's real?"

The boy laughed. "Yeah, it's real. I just can't cross the plain. There's something holding me back and as I was waiting, I was sent here with my mission."

"And that would be..."

"You," the boy's eyes softened. Kurt gave him a confused look.

"What about me? Do you have to kill me or something?"

"The opposite, actually. I have to save you."

Kurt swallowed hard. This boy was now looking directly into Kurt's eyes. "Kurt...I know what you were about to do."

Kurt's stomach twisted just a little. "Yeah...so?"

"Can I tell you something? From experience? It's not worth it," the boy knelt down in front of Kurt, placing a cold hand on his knee. Kurt could feel it. It was a light weight, but it was there. "I know what you're going through. I've been there. I know the names and the shoving and the feeling that the world hates you."

Kurt felt tears in his eyes again. "How?"

"Because I was gay, too," the boy tilted his head slightly, making his eyes lock with Kurt's. "Every day, I woke up feeling numb and heavy. I walked to my classes as quickly as I could to avoid the lacrosse team and went straight to my dorm each evening to lock myself away from everyone." The boy held up his arms, showing Kurt some white scars that ranged from thin to thick all the way up his arm. "Every night until the night I killed myself, I did this. I just wanted to feel something."

"Control," Kurt said in a quivering voice, tears slipping down his face. He had never felt so connected to anyone in his life.

"Yeah...control. Kurt, I'm here to help you. I can't move on until you do," the boy moved his hand from Kurt's knee to Kurt's hands that were clasped in his lap, gripping both of them with both of his. Kurt shivered at the touch that was so cold but so warming at the same time.

"I'm gonna fix you, Kurt," he said, squeezing Kurt's hands gently. "I'm gonna save you from making the same mistake I did."

Kurt let out a sob and the boy stood, pulling Kurt up out of the chair and leading him to the bed. The boy lay down and pulled Kurt over to the middle, wrapping a comforting arm around Kurt's middle. Kurt huddled into a ball and wept into his pillow, letting go as the ghost shushed him and stroked his thumb over Kurt's hand. After several minutes, Kurt finally calmed down.

"Sleep now, Kurt. You need it." The boy's soft sweet voice whispered in his ear.

"Who are you?" Kurt asked sleepily. He felt a smile on the boy's lips against his ear.

"Blaine," he said softly. "Blaine Anderson."

* * *

><p><strong>That's chapter one! More to come soon, folks!<strong>


	2. It's Called Living

**Thank you guys for the warm reception of this story! here's more for ya!**

* * *

><p><em>Tears stream down your face<em>  
><em>I promise you I will learn<em>  
><em>From my mistakes<em>

"Kurt? Honey, are you going to school today?"

Kurt woke slowly on top of his blankets, still dressed in only his boxer briefs. His rabbit skin throw had been draped over him and his lamp had been turned off. The sunlight drifted through the curtains on his window.

"Kurt? I'm coming in there," Carole called again, turning the knob and entering. "Sweetie, are you going to school? Are you still sick?"

Kurt sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I'm going. Sorry, I was sleeping hard, I guess."

Carole smiled at him and nodded. "Ok. You've got about thirty minutes."

Kurt groaned and hopped out of bed, moving quickly toward his bathroom. As the door closed, he remembered- the boy from last night. Blaine.

Kurt peaked back into his room to find it completely empty. The spot next to where he was lying looked completely untouched. Kurt sighed and figured it must have just been a dream. He showered quickly and dressed in jeans, a white long sleeve and a black vest then ran down the stairs to grab a slice of toast Carole had sitting out for him.

"Finally, dude, I thought we'd be late," Finn stood up, grabbing his back pack. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Stop calling me dude, Finn," he turned and headed out the door. They drove to school bickering over the radio like they did every morning and walked into school, taking their seperate routes to Gym and Physics. Kurt sat down at his desk and started pulling out his books. His physics book was slid from his desk and dropped on the floor.

"Dropped something, fag," Rockwell sneered. Kurt felt his throat close again, but something drew his attention to the open classroom door. He looked up and saw Blaine propped against the door frame, still dressed as he was the day before. He gave Kurt a warm smile and nodded toward the book. Kurt slowly leaned down and picked it back up, placing it on his desk and opening it to the page indicated on the door. When he looked back up, Blaine was gone. A sense of courage swept over him for some reason and he felt a small smile creep across his face.

Blaine appeared to him twice more at school. In Gym, Kurt was sitting on the bleachers with Mercedes and Rachel when a ball collided with the side of his face. He sat up quickly and looked around, seeing two guys laughing and looking at him. The ball bounced over toward the side entrance to the gym then mysteriously flew toward the two boys, hitting the assailant in the groin. He cried out and hit his knees and Kurt looked quickly toward the entrance to see Blaine standing with his hands in his pockets, shrugging and grinning playfully. Kurt giggled, causing Rachel and Mercedes to give him a strange look. After school, Kurt felt a cold presence next to him and looked to the side to see Blaine walking briskly next to him, his thumbs hooking in his pockets.

"Thanks, by the way," Kurt said as quietly as he could, grinning sideways at Blaine.

"He deserved it," Blaine shrugged. Kurt noticed that he was gaining a bit of color, his skin starting to take an olive tone and his hair turning from misty blue to black, the curls falling over his forehead and ears.

"Would you come back to my house today?" Kurt asked without thinking. Blaine looked over and smiled.

"Of course. I'm sure you have plenty of questions."

Kurt nodded.

"I'll meet you there," Blaine smiled and waved and in the time it took Kurt to blink, he was gone.

"Gotta get used to that," Kurt said to himself as he approached his car. He wasn't alone there.

"Kurt. Where have you been?" Sebastian was leaned against his car minus the blazer, his sleeves rolled up over his elbows.

"Oh, sorry...glee club," Kurt said quietly, not meeting his eyes as he reached into his coat pocket to retrieve his keys.

"That's right. Well, I was hoping you'd come over this afternoon...we had so much fun yesterday, I thought maybe we could have a round two," Sebastian approached Kurt and traced his collar bone with his index finger.

"Sebastian, no. I really don't want to-"

"Well, I'll see you in a few then," Sebastian said as if Kurt hadn't said anything. Kurt felt anger bubble in his stomach.

"I'm not coming to your house, Sebastian," Kurt snapped, feeling a surge of courage. Sebastian stopped where he was walking back to his Lexus and turned around. The look on his face made Kurt suddenly regret having any ounce of courage.

"What's that?" he asked, moving back toward Kurt and crowding him into the side of the SUV. "Kurt, I'm your boyfriend. When I need you, you should be there for me, right?"

Kurt swallowed. "Not when all you want from me is sex."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow. "When did I say that?"

"We haven't been on a date since our second. You haven't actually kissed me in about a month...since we started having sex. You didn't have to say-"

Kurt felt a sting across his face as his head snapped to the side. Sebastian had slapped him hard across the face and gripped the collar of his jacket.

"So damn needy, aren't you?" Sebastian snarled in his face.

"Let me go!" Kurt choked, clawing at the hands gripping him. Sebastian dropped him, but grabbed his wrist hard.

"I don't know where this attitude came from, Kurt, but drop it. I don't wanna see you anymore today anyway. I'll call you."

Sebastian let him go and stormed off toward his car. Kurt placed a hand to the side of his face where it stung, heat radiating from the spot where Sebastian's hand made contact. He couldn't feel anything apart from that.

When he finally got in his car and drove home, he found the house empty. He walked over to the couch and flipped on the television and sat on the couch, trying to ignore the burning on his face.

_"In local news, a funeral service for Blaine Anderson, the young teen from Westerville who committed suicide last Thursday was held this afternoon at St. Paul's-"_

Kurt stared at the photo on the screen of the boy who had been following him for the past 24 hours. He gasped at the beauty of the boy- his soft brown eyes, his kind smile, the look of life in his eyes. The photo was of him and a smaller boy around 8 years old sitting in front of a white fence in the grass smiling brightly at the camera.

"Amazing, isn't it? That that was me?"

Kurt looked and saw Blaine sitting on the recliner his Dad frequented, staring at the television. "That was my mom's favorite picture of me. We went to Cape Cod for the summer a couple of years ago. That's my little brother Sean. He's 10 now."

Kurt could see the longing and hurt in Blaine's eyes. "Do you go see your family?"

Blaine shook his head. "They can't see me. It would just make me feel worse."

Kurt's heart broke. "I'm so sorry."

Blaine shook his head. "I did it to myself. I made a stupid mistake and I'll never get it back. I'll never live again," Blaine's eyes were shining with tears when he looked up at Kurt. "That's why I'm here for you. The Council saw that you were about to make the same mistake I made and sent me here."

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. "Council?"

"A group of elder Angels who decides when you cross the Plain," Blaine moved from the recliner to sit on the couch next to Kurt. Kurt shifted over to give him room, but Blaine sat close to him anyway. Kurt didn't mind it at all.

"Why did they send you? I mean...were you the only one there?"

"No, there are millions. Millions who were selfish in their lives, they said. I apparently regretted my own death enough to be chosen to help someone else. They called me up and told me about you. I saw bits and pieces of your life and spoke with the Council and the next thing I know, I'm in your room. You and your boyfriend were there," Kurt heard a bitter tone at the mention of Sebastian.

"I take it you don't really approve of Sebastian either?" Kurt asked.

"He's vile. That's all I'll say about that," Blaine grimaced. Blaine looked back at the TV where it showed footage from the funeral. Mourners and students were placing flowers at a small memorial outside the steps of the school where he went. "It's funny," Blaine said, "When you're alive, they kick you when you're down and make you feel like dirt, but when you die, they do anything they can to make themselves seem like they were your best friends."

Kurt stared at the screen and felt disgust. Some of those kids who were weeping and placing flowers had driven Blaine to do what he did.

"Still wanna kill yourself?" Blaine looked over at him. "That could be you if you want it to be."

Kurt felt his stomach twist again. "N-no."

Blaine placed a hand over his. "That's a start, I guess. I suppose I'm doing my job?"

Kurt let out a shallow laugh. "Yeah," he winced slightly against the stretch of the skin on his cheek. Blaine tilted his head and examined it.

"What's that?"

Kurt turned his head and stood. "Nothing." Kurt moved toward the kitchen, but Blaine was now standing in front of the bar.

"It's not nothing. I know what it is, but I want you to say it."

Kurt jumped at his abrupt change of position, but simply walked past him and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water.

"I told you he was vile, Kurt," Blaine said, causing Kurt to stand up and slam the door of the fridge.

"I know, ok? I know he treats me like shit and I know I could probably do better, but he's all I have right now! He's the only one like me around here and he seems to always have an answer. That's all I want right now is someone to tell me what to do because I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"

Kurt was crying by the end of the outburst. Blaine seemed unfazed, almost satisfied by Kurt's fit. Kurt leaned against the fridge and choked back his sob. "I just want to know what to do. I'm just lost."

Blaine stood from the bar and walked over to Kurt, taking his hands and locking their fingers together. Kurt felt warmth in his chest at the gentle touch.

"You don't need someone else to tell you the answers to your own life questions. That's what you're supposed to do- figure them out for yourself. That's called living. Kurt, you are an amazing guy," Blaine squeezed his hands, making him look up into Blaine's eyes, "You're smart. You can get yourself back. You have to start by taking control of your life again."

Kurt sniffed. "How?"

Blaine smiled. "That's what you have to figure out for yourself."

Kurt scoffed. "So why are you following me around again?"

Blaine laughed and dipped his head. "I'm doing my job, thank you very much. I'm helping you help yourself."

A smile formed on Kurt's face and he locked his eyes with Blaine again. He knew it was crazy, but something about this boy- this ghost- made him feel like nothing could touch him...he almost felt...loved. But that was crazy. Blaine was dead and always would be.

Blaine coughed nervously and finally let their hands go. "So...why don't we go upstairs and I'll answer any of those burning questions you have for me?"

Kurt nodded and followed Blaine up the stairs, noticing how his feet didn't quite reach the ground. He seemed to float-step half an inch from the ground, gliding effortlessly across the hardwood floor. Kurt's heart warmed just a little when Blaine turned his head slightly over his shoulder and gave him a soft smile.

Yes, Kurt thought, I'm definitely in love with this ghost.

* * *

><p><strong>I plan on having an interaction between Kurt and Blaine's family at some point. Any objections, let me know!<strong>


	3. Going Back

**Totally having fun with this. Don't worry, it's faaaaar from over. Lyrics from Deathbed by Relient K. Another song I'll probably use a good bit. **

* * *

><p><em>You cried wolf<em>  
><em> The tears they soaked your fur<em>  
><em> The blood dripped from your fangs<em>  
><em> You said, "What have I done?"<em>

Blaine answered all of Kurt's questions with patience and a bit of humor. Kurt asked him a bit about his family- his mother was a writer and his father was a Colonel in the Army. His little brother worshiped him even after he came out to his family and wanted to be a baseball player. Blaine and his father had a tough relationship because his father wanted him to be in the Army, but Blaine never showed any interest. His mother was always supportive of his lifestyle, but his dad generally regarded it as his 'little problem' and often passively called him names. Blaine went a bit silent when talking about his father. Blaine also explained the process of the Plain.

"When you get there, you wait. You're life is reviewed and the Council decides whether you get to go on to be Judged by God or whether you go to Hell. There is judgement there as well, but it's different. Basically, you just get put into one of the realms there. They want to send me to Heaven, but as you know, my case is a little different. I felt shame for killing myself. They are actually reviewing me to see if I get a second chance."

Kurt perked up a little. "Second chance?"

"At life. It rarely happens, though," Blaine said sadly, toying with the china doll he held in his hands. "I'm not getting my hopes up. Hopefully, I can just move on. They say it's amazing there."

"What does the Plain look like?"

"Well, there's nothing really there. The skies are golden in the day and deep blue at night...there's mostly just a waiting area kind of thing and a huge arch where the Council is. We don't sleep, we just wait."

Kurt was fascinated by this place Blaine was describing. It sounded so unreal- like something out of a movie- but the way Blaine talked about it made it seem very real.

"So...this is a weird question, but...can you eat?"

Blaine looked up and laughed. "No, unfortunately. I really miss lasagna."

Kurt laughed and crossed his feet behind him where he lay on the bed. "What can you do?"

"Nothing, really. I can't do natural things like eat, sleep, pee-" he chuckled. "It's convenient and inconvenient at the same time."

Kurt studied Blaine's relaxed gait. It was the most relaxed Kurt had seen him since meeting him. It was like they were two friends hanging out. Maybe that's what they had become. It was what Kurt needed and Blaine seemed to need the same thing.

"Do you ever get lonely?" Kurt asked. Blaine placed the china doll on Kurt's desk and rested his elbows on his knees where his legs were crossed in the chair.

"Yeah...when I'm not here, I go back to the Plain. I've met a few people there, but they all seem too caught up in getting to where they need to be. I just wanna come back. I didn't have many friends to begin with, though," Blaine sighed. "I mean...before."

Kurt studied Blaine for a moment, watching him get a little lost in his memories. Then he asked a question he had been wanting to ask since he first saw Blaine.

"Did you ever have a boyfriend?"

Blaine sat up and sighed. "No. I know it's sort of pathetic...but I never even had my first kiss."

Kurt sat up and sat on the edge of his bed.

"It's not that big a deal, really...just a kiss...but I don't know...it's one of the things I really regret. I never got to really love anyone. It's just one of those things in life people really take for granted."

Blaine swallowed hard and blinked rapidly. Kurt could tell he was holding back tears. Kurt stood up slowly and walked over to Blaine, kneeling in front of him.

Blaine seemed to still the involuntary movement of his phantom breath when Kurt placed a hand on his cheek. Kurt could feel it. It was cold, but there. Kurt leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Blaine's, feeling the boy's muscles jump slightly at the contact. After a second, Kurt pulled away and both boys' eyes fluttered open.

"Wow," Blaine sighed, his eyes flitting between Kurt's eyes and his lips.

"Yeah," Kurt said a little breathlessly. The tension was tight until Kurt cleared his throat and removed his hand from Blaine's cheek. "Well...you got your first kiss."

Blaine gave him a dopey grin. "Yeah...thanks."

Kurt smiled and nodded. His stomach was churning excitedly, but he finally stood up and moved back to the bed, trying to hide the smile that wanted to escape. "So, any other cool things you can do? I noticed you can pretty much pop up wherever you want."

Blaine laughed, the blush fading from his face. "Well, I noticed that I can go backward. Like, the other day I was sitting in the Plain and I remembered a camping trip I took when I was a kid and I thought about it- everything that was there and what I felt then and when I opened my eyes, I was sitting next to my little brother. I was...in the memory, I guess? No one knew I was there. It was really weird seeing myself at 13, but I got to relive it."

Kurt smiled then thought. Blaine could basically travel back in time. Kurt wondered...

"Could you bring others with you?"

Blaine looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Kurt crossed his legs. "Like...say you wanted to show me something from your past...would I be able to see it?"

"I don't know...I haven't tried that."

Kurt worried his lower lip. There was something he wanted to see. Blaine was sent to keep him from making the same mistake he did...he knew what the mistake was, but he wanted to know what Blaine went through.

"Could you...show me your last day?"

Blaine's features melted into fear. "You mean...the day I killed myself?"

"I just wonder what you were like...what happened to you that made you want to do what you did...you don't have to-"

"Come here," Blaine stood and held out his hand. It was trembling, but his face was set. Kurt stood slowly and slipped his hand into Blaine's. Blaine's eyes closed and Kurt felt a tug right in the middle of his back like he was being pulled backward, Blaine's hand still clasped tightly in his own.

Kurt blinked against a bright light and looked up to see an immaculate skylight in a large ceiling, a spiral stair case descending from an upper floor. The walls and floors were cherry wood and gleaming. Kurt knew exactly where they were- he had been there several times.

"Dalton," Kurt glanced around. Blaine smiled and nodded.

"My home away from home," he pulled Kurt along down a hallway. A beautiful clock perched on the wall read 12:37.

"I was in Latin, I think," Blaine said, tugging Kurt gently down a separate hallway. Kurt passed many boys in blazers that paid him absolutely no attention. He tested this by reaching out and grabbing at one of their arms, but his fingers slipped through the material of the blazer like smoke. He gasped and inspected his hand.

"You're not real, Kurt," Blaine noticed his reaction. "They can't see us."

Blaine led Kurt down the hall to a door with a name plate on it. "Mr. Hurst- Latin". Kurt peeked inside the window and immediately saw Blaine. He was far different than the one still holding his hand. The boy in the classroom was slumped, tired-looking and miserable. The gel that controlled his curls was the only thing that looked put together about the young man. Behind Blaine, Kurt saw Sebastian, leaned back in his chair looking bored. A young man behind Sebastian tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at Blaine, causing Sebastian to roll his eyes, but laugh all the same. The boy wrote something on a piece of paper and balled it up, tossing it over Sebastian and onto Blaine's desk. Kurt felt Blaine's hand tighten around his. He looked up and saw Blaine's jaw clenched, eyes boring into the boy who threw the paper. Kurt looked back to watch the development.

Blaine picked the piece of paper up that had hit him in the back of the neck and unrolled it, his eyes closing and his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. He balled up the paper and put it at the corner of his desk.

"Blaine?" Kurt heard the teacher in the classroom. "Bring that to me."

Blaine sighed and stood up with the ball of paper, the boy behind him giggling and a smile creeping across Sebastian's face. Kurt wanted to walk in and slap the evil grin off his face, but it wouldn't do any good. Blaine handed the note to the teacher, who unraveled it.

"Who wrote this?" The teacher asked angrily to the class.

"That was me, sir," the boy held up his hand. "Just messing with Blaine, you know?"

"Detention, Mr. Campbell," The teacher balled the letter back up and threw it away. "Take your seat, Blaine."

Blaine turned and walked back to his desk, sitting down and staring back at the board, his eyes distant and empty.

"What did it say?" Kurt turned to Blaine, who still looked angry.

"'Just die already'," he quoted. "If only they knew, right?" he asked coldly.

Kurt bit back tears. How could anyone be so horrible? The bell rang and they walked toward another hallway and walked into what looked like a large choir room.

"Warbler's hall," Blaine looked around. "I should be in here in a few minutes. Your boyfriend is the lead singer."

"Yeah, I know," Kurt bit. After what he had just seen, he really didn't want Sebastian referred to as his boyfriend at the moment. Blaine walked over to the piano, his hand hovering inches above the glossy wood.

"I miss playing. I used to come in here every afternoon after dinner and play Debussy or Chopin. I wrote some of my own stuff, but I really don't remember it."

Kurt watched the handsome boy sit at the bench and run his fingertips over the keys. He wanted so badly to hold Blaine and make him forget all the horrible things that had happened to him, but it couldn't happen. The sound of rambunctious teenage boys alerted Blaine and he slowly stood up and they moved to a corner of the room. After the rest of the group had come in, Blaine walked in far behind, placing his bag on the couch and sitting on the arm. An Asian boy walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned as he asked him a question.

"That's Wes. If I had a friend in the world, it was him. I can't count how many times he picked me up off the floor in my dorm and made me eat chocolate," Blaine laughed. "He said that chocolate could fix anything."

Kurt laughed gently and watched Wes rub Blaine's shoulder before giving him a warm smile and moving to the front of the room.

"Ok, Warblers, listen up. Welcome back from the summer and I hope you're ready to kick ass at Sectionals."

A few of the boys whooped. "Now, Sebastian suggested a number for us and we have the music for it, so that's what we're gonna do today. Any questions?"

The boys glanced around and shrugged.

"Good, let's get to it!" They began singing the 'oohs' of 'Uptown Girl' and sounded amazing doing it. Kurt had never actually heard the Warblers sing before, but Sebastian raved about them. After a few tries, they put choreography with it- a few simple and complex two-steps. After a while, the group dismissed and Blaine was the first out the door, despite Wes calling after him.

"God, Wes, why do you even bother?" a larger boy asked.

"He's just lonely, guys," Wes answered. Kurt really liked this Wes guy. "He's had a hard time."

"He'd be fine if he wasn't a fag," the Campbell kid pointed out. Kurt looked quickly over at Sebastian, who looked totally unfazed. Kurt was confused. Sebastian was gay and he didn't even care that someone was saying something so horrible? "Maybe we should treat him to another stick party, Sebastian."

Kurt's stomach dropped. Sebastian simply laughed. "Couldn't hurt, I guess."

Blaine tensed next to Kurt, causing Kurt to look over. Blaine had not heard this after he had left the hall and now he was standing in the room with his bullies talking about beating him. One of his bullies was a closet case...Kurt's own boyfriend.

"Blaine..." Kurt tried to apologize, but his throat closed.

"It's ok, Kurt...you didn't know. No one else here knows he's gay. I didn't until I got to the Plain."

"I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"Come on," Blaine pulled Kurt out of the hall and back up the spiral stairs toward a large common room. They walked through the double doors to a long hallway with a dozen doors on each side. Blaine moved toward one that bore the number 13.

"This was my room. Special cases got single rooms. I was a special case because I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder, but truthfully, I was just miserable."

Instead of opening the door, Blaine simply pulled Kurt through it, their bodies disappearing into the cherry wood and appearing in a messy room with a large window on the west wall. Blaine sat on his bed, looking out the window watching nothing in particular. He had changed out of his uniform and into what he was wearing now- white shirt, jeans and converse. His hair was wet from what looked like a rushed shower and his curls were falling over his forehead. Blaine let go of Kurt's hand and sat down next to his past self, who never even flinched. It was the strangest thing, seeing the two Blaines sitting together. The contrast was much more obvious that way. Past Blaine had stubble on his jaw and upper lip and he looked smaller than ghost Blaine.

"I just wish I could let myself know it isn't gonna be worth it," Blaine looked at himself sadly. "I just wanna go back and fix it."

Kurt tried not to cry as tears appeared in ghost Blaine's eyes. Past Blaine stood up and walked over to his desk, sitting down in the chair and pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. He began writing.

"'I'm sorry I had to do this,'" ghost Blaine quoted. "'But no one would listen to me. I've been so scared for so long and I don't want to be scared anymore. I love you, Mom, Dad, and Sean. Please remember me the way I used to be. Love, Blaine.'"

Almost immediately after he finished quoting, past Blaine finished writing, wiping tears from his eyes quickly and standing up. A knock at the door startled all three of them. Wes walked in.

"Hey, buddy. Wanna go grab some coffee?"

Past Blaine didn't answer. He just stared at the floor.

"Come on, man, what's up?" Wes stepped forward. Past Blaine stepped back, hiding the letter on his desk from sight.

"I'm tired, Wes," was all he said.

"That's what coffee's for, Blaine," Wes smiled weakly, trying to make Blaine laugh. Blaine just glanced up then back down.

"Look, if it's about what happened in Latin, Nick's just an asshole. Don't take it seriously."

Blaine looked up and met Wes's eyes, not holding back the tears. "Just go, Wes."

Wes looked sorrowful. "Blaine, come on-"

"Get out!" Blaine moved quickly, shoving Wes out of the door and slamming it closed, locking it. Wes pounded on the door, calling Blaine's name, but Blaine walked over to his closet and opened the door. He pulled out a rope that had been tied previously. He had been planning this. Above his desk was an open pipe that ran from the ceiling across the top of the wall and into the bathroom wall at the bottom. Kurt felt the urge to run over and grab him and stop him, but he knew he couldn't. Ghost Blaine watched as well, tears falling silently down his face. Kurt walked over and hugged him, burying his face into Blaine's neck. He peeked up to see that Past Blaine had tied the end of the rope to the pipe and climbed onto his desk, his toes hanging off the edge. The noose was around his neck and he seemed to be preparing himself for what he was about to do.

"Blaine! Open the door! I'm gonna get the dean!"

Past Blaine closed his eyes and crossed himself, mumbling a silent prayer under his breath. With one final intake of breath, he stepped off the desk, a crack coming from his neck. Kurt felt like he was going to vomit. Blaine's hand moved from Kurt's to his neck, his fingers rubbing across the purpling bruises on his neck that would never disappear.

Past Blaine's feet twitched a couple of times before stilling completely, leaving him hanging limply against the wall.

"B-blaine, let's go," Kurt sobbed, standing uneasily. He felt dizzy and sick. Blaine didn't move. He simply stared at his body.

"Blaine, please," Kurt begged. The door crashed open, wood splintering on the frame.

"Dear God," an older man declared and ran forward to Blaine. Wes slumped against the frame, anguish on his face and his hand covering his mouth.

The dean lifted Blaine's body down quickly and lay him on the floor. "His neck's broken! Wesley, call an ambulance!"

Wes stumbled out into the hall. The dean was checking Blaine's pulse, but it wasn't there. He was gone.

The scene faded around them and they were back in Kurt's room. Kurt ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet, tears burning his face. He flushed the toilet and sat back against the wall, sobbing. Blaine walked in and stood against the door frame, looking tired.

"Are you ok?" Blaine asked, his voice quivering.

"Oh, Blaine," he cried.

"I shouldn't have taken you-"

"No," Kurt cut him off. "I asked you to. I wanted to know."

Blaine came in and sat down next to Kurt, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Kurt leaned into the light weight, feeling only a fraction of the comfort he would feel if Blaine were still alive.

"I would have been there for you," Kurt said softly. Blaine swallowed and let out a choked sob.

"I know...I wish I had met you before I died."

Kurt let out a soft laugh. "You don't know how many times I've thought the same thing in the past two days."

Blaine turned to look at him. "Really?"

Kurt suddenly remembered what he had said. "Blaine, I-"

He was cut off by Blaine pressing his lips to his. He sighed and gently cupped Blaine's cold cheek. Blaine pulled away and rested his forehead against Kurt's.

"S-sorry...I just...I really like you...I know this is so weird, but-"

"I like you, too," Kurt confessed. Blaine let out a sigh of relief and kissed Kurt again quickly. Blaine linked their fingers together and stared into Kurt's eyes.

"I really hope I do get that second chance...maybe I could find you again."

Kurt closed his eyes and blinked away tears. "Me too." They sat that way for a while, simply staring into each other's eyes. Kurt heard his bedroom door open and he hopped up quickly, walking in to see his father standing in the door looking for him.

"What were you doing? Carole said it sounded like you were getting sick."

"I'm fine...still feeling a little iffy from yesterday, I guess," Kurt shrugged, walking over and hugging his father tightly. Burt jumped a little in surprise, but wrapped his arms around his lithe son.

"What's all this?"

"I just want you to know...I love you, Dad. You're the best dad ever."

"What do you want?" Burt chuckled. Kurt looked up, tears shining in his eyes. "Kurt?"

"I'm just really glad I have you guys- you, Carole and Finn. I just...I know if I didn't have you guys I wouldn't be here...thank you."

Burt cupped Kurt's neck and squeezed gently. "No problem, kiddo. Are you sure you're ok?"

Kurt smiled and covered his dad's hand with his. "Yeah...I am now."

"Well, good. Dinner will be ready soon, ok?" Burt smiled and ruffled Kurt's hair a little before turning and leaving the room. Blaine walked up behind Kurt, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Seems like my mission is moving forward. We're not done yet, though. You still have a long way to go."

Kurt turned around and took Blaine's hand. "I know...I look forward to it."

* * *

><p><strong>more to coooooooooome<strong>


	4. Not While I'm Around

**HEYOOO! Ok, so here's some more story!**

**Let me just say that Darren was just too damn adoraballs on the Starkid tour this past few days. I'm so proud to have someone to look up to who still sticks to his roots no matter how big his career gets. Brava, Darebear...Keep making wonderful, silly music with your wonderful, silly friends. We shall continue to love you forever ;).**

* * *

><p>Blaine made himself scarce for the next couple of days, only appearing in the corner of Kurt's chemistry class or in the dead of night as Kurt slept soundly.<br>Seeing himself die had done something to him. It scared him, but it also gave him more initiative to try harder to get back his life. Sitting in the Plain gave him a lot of time to think about Kurt. He didn't know it was possible to feel the way he did about another person. He only regreted that he had made the poor decision he had before meeting Kurt.

"Blaine Anderson," he heard an elder call to him. He looked up quickly.

"The Council would like to speak to you about something," he said grimly. A lump developed in Blaine's throat. The Council didn't typically call to people individually unless they were moving on or in trouble. Blaine stood from the bench and walked behind the white robe-clad man. The arch was marble, white and shining in the light of the early morning. As they approached, Blaine felt the familiar warmth of passing through an invisible barrier and where was once vastness was now a large table occupied by seven Council members. A younger woman near the end looked at him in surprise, almost as if she wanted to say something to him. He had never seen her before.

"Blaine Anderson," Jacob addressed him. Jacob sat in the middle of the group, the head Council member. In his past life, he was a preacher and spoke with conviction like Blaine had never heard before. "It has come to our attention that the mortal you've been sent to attend to was taken back into your past with you."

Blaine's hands started to shake. He didn't like the way the man's tone sounded. It was accusing.

"Y-yes, sir."

"It seems we didn't quite explain to you the ability to travel through time, but you aren't allowed to take mortals with you. Especially to such a treacherous day."

Blaine let out a shaky breath. "Yes sir...I'm sorry."

"It cannot happen again, Blaine. You are under review for a second chance...what you did could eliminate you from consideration."

"Please," Blaine begged, his eyes tearing up. "Please don't eliminate me. I-I want to go back. I want to make things right."

"We understand, Blaine," Eda, the elderly woman next to Jacob smiled at him. "We see the Light in you. You left Earth far too soon."

"That wasn't all we wanted to discuss with you, Blaine," Jacob announced. He turned to the young woman near the end. She stood up, moving from the table and walking around. Blaine took her in- her beautiful blue eyes, long chestnut hair, and warm smile. It was very familiar.

"My name is Elizabeth...Kurt...he's my son."

Blaine's mouth dropped slightly.

"I'd like to talk to you separately. Is that ok?"

"Y-yes, of course," Blaine nodded. Elizabeth turned and led him over to a door, opening it and letting him walk in. The room they walked into was just like the rest of the Plain- misty and bright. Two benches sat at an angle from each other. Elizabeth sat at one, Blaine at the other.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Fine, thank you," he said, a little confused.

"Good...I know you experienced your death the other day...Kurt as well...I...I haven't gotten a chance to check on him since I moved on...how is he?"

He saw her eyes shimmering a little. They looked just like Kurt's when he cried- beautiful and lit.

"He's getting a little better, I think...I was sent to stop him-"

"From killing himself," Elizabeth sat up straighter, fighting back a slight sob. "I know. I was told when I got here that he was being helped. I've wanted to meet you since I found out. What you're doing...it's one of the most courageous things I've ever heard of. I couldn't imagine my baby being here so soon."

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

Elizabeth covered his hand with hers. "I also want to talk about something else. Before I actually got to move on...I heard that Kurt was gay. How is that going?"

She didn't sound angry at all. She knew that he was probably getting picked on. If only she knew.

Blaine sighed. "He gets pushed around a lot...it's one of the reasons he was gonna do what he was gonna do...he's got a boyfriend, but he's such a jerk to him..."

Blaine felt angry thinking about Sebastian. That boy had caused him so much grief and to think...he had been doing it to Kurt as well. Elizabeth sighed sadly.

"Could you deliver a message to my son for me?"

Blaine looked up at Elizabeth, nodding.

"Tell him that one day, he's going to grow out of that town, move away from all of those horrible people, and he's gonna make something of himself. Right now is the roughest part of his life- being a teenager- but one day, he'll be a man and with that will come the courage to be who he truly wants to be. I believe he'll find a man who will love him unconditionally like he deserves and all of this will just be a bad memory."

Blaine blinked away tears, feeling his chest hurt slightly. Elizabeth tilted her head, much like Kurt did when he was about to ask a question.

"Blaine...you like Kurt, don't you?"

Blaine closed his eyes and took a breath. "Very much."

Elizabeth squeezed his hand.

"And there's nothing I can do about it," Blaine stood up, running his fingers through his curls like he used to do when he was upset. "I just...I just wish I had met him before...every time I look at him and see him cry or laugh or get frustrated, I just want to hold him, but I can't!"

"Blaine," Elizabeth stood up, taking his hand. "Relax, sweetie."

Blaine stopped and let out a soft sob. "I'm sorry..."

"It's ok...that was beautiful," she smiled at him. "I would have happily accepted you as a boyfriend for Kurt."

He laughed. "Thank you."

Elizabeth smiled. "Now, I believe you have a job to do?"

Blaine wiped his eyes and nodded. "Yeah...I haven't actually talked to him in a couple of days. Just...seeing myself die sort of freaked me out."

"That's why I stayed away from that specific day," Elizabeth nodded.

"Do you ever go back? In your memories, I mean?"

Elizabeth nodded. "Every now and then, I go back to Kurt's sixth birthday. It was a fun day. The family came over and we got Kurt a bicycle. He had no idea how to ride it, but he was so excited...it was the last birthday I got to go to...I died two months later..."

"How did it happen?"

Elizabeth gave a sad smile. "I believe if you asked Kurt, he'd tell you. I believe he may need to talk about it anyway. He doesn't much."

Blaine nodded.

"Go back to Kurt, sweetie. I've got work to do on your case anyway," Elizabeth cupped Blaine's cheek, giving him a smile that looked so much like Kurt's he almost wanted to cry. He gave her one last smile and started to leave.

"Blaine?" she called after him. He turned around.

"Do you know the song 'Not While I'm Around' from Sweeney Todd?"

Blaine nodded. It was his favorite from the musical.

"If you could...if Kurt ever gets too upset...could you sing it for him? It always worked when I did it."

Blaine smiled. "Of course."

Elizabeth nodded and smiled. "Thank you."

Blaine turned and walked out of the door and through the arch, closing his eyes and traveling back to Earth.

Kurt felt the warm water pouring down over his face, the smell of his shampoo flood his senses. His back hurt from the metal locker he was shoved harshly into that afternoon. He didn't look at it, but he could tell it was bruised. He heard the curtain rustle slightly, then a curse.

"Shit. Sorry, Kurt, I didn't mean..." Kurt peeked out and saw Blaine standing, looking a little shell-shocked.

"N-no, it's ok," Kurt blushed, turning the water off quickly and reaching out to grab his towel. He wrapped it around his waist and stepped out, the air around Blaine chilling him a bit. "Where have you been? It's been a couple of days...Blaine?"

Blaine was staring at Kurt's body, lips slightly parted and eyes locked on his torso. Kurt felt his body flush with heat. Blaine blinked and looked away quickly.

"I, um...I had some things to take care of on...on the Plain," he stammered, looking at the wall and bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck.

"Oh," Kurt said breathlessly. He hurried out of his en suite to put on his boxer briefs and jeans. Walking back into the bathroom, he found Blaine muttering to himself. Something along the lines of 'idiot' and 'dumbass'.

"Um...I'm decent," Kurt interrupted him. Blaine jumped and looked up, his pale cheeks would obviously be flushed if there was blood to rush to them.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt...I just sort of show up wherever you are and I didn't know you were in the shower and-"

"Blaine," Kurt smiled, placing a hand on Blaine's chest. "It's fine. Promise."

Blaine swallowed and nodded. "Ok...sorry."

Kurt smiled and leaned over to kiss Blaine's cheek. Blaine's eyes fluttered open when he pulled back, a dazed look on his face.

"Now, what did you have to do on the Plain?"

Blaine wanted to tell Kurt all about meeting his mother, but figured it would be best to wait. "Just taking care of things for my case. I...sort of got reprimanded for taking you back in my memory."

Kurt looked afraid. "I didn't screw you up for your second chance, did I?"

"No, no," Blaine calmed him. "I just got a warning. No biggie, ok?"

Kurt sighed with relief. "Ok."

They walked back into Kurt's room and sat on the bed, their hands finding each other's. "So, how has school been?" Blaine asked. Kurt tensed in his grip.

"Kurt?" he pushed. He could tell Kurt didn't really wanna talk about it.

"Just...the usual. I got shoved pretty hard today... My back's killing me."

Blaine gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry."

Kurt shrugged. "I'm used to it by now...doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off."

Blaine nodded. "So...have you talked to Sebastian?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "No. I've been ignoring him. He called me yesterday and tried to apologize for hitting me, but I told him I just need him to stay away for a while. I don't know what to do."

"Kurt...I know you probably think I'm gonna say this just because I like you," Blaine dipped his head to meet Kurt's eyes, "But he's not worth it. He's making you miserable and you can't be happy with him. He's just gonna keep treating you that way, apologize and have you running back to him. You don't need that."

Kurt shook his head. "That's the best I can do right now."

"No, it's not..."Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. He remembered the message he was to deliver to Kurt. "Kurt, one day, you're going to grow out of this town, move away from all of those horrible people, and you're gonna make something of yourself. You don't need him."

Kurt looked up at Blaine through tears. "You think?"

"I know..." Blaine smiled. "A very smart, kind, wonderful woman told me that...for you..."

Kurt looked confused. "Who?"

"Someone," Blaine shrugged. "She also told me to tell you that right now is the roughest part of your life- being a teenager- but one day, you'll be a man and with that will come the courage to be who he truly wants to be. She believes you'll find a man who will love you unconditionally like you deserve and all of this will just be a bad memory."

Kurt let out a soft cry and looked down at his lap. Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand, feeling it tremble.

"I don't know what to do, Blaine," Kurt whispered. Blaine remembered what Elizabeth told him...about the song.

"Lie down, Kurt," Blaine said softly. Kurt reluctantly did so, laying his head on his pillow and crying into his pillow. Blaine lay down next to him, facing him and propping up on his elbow. He gently stroked Kurt's hair, seeing Kurt's eyes slip closed.

_Nothing's gonna harm you  
>Not while I'm around<em>

_Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir,_  
><em>Not while I'm around<em>

_Demons are prowlin' everywhere _  
><em>Nowadays <em>  
><em>I'll send 'em howlin', I don't care <em>  
><em>Eitherways<em>

Kurt's eyes opened and he looked up at Blaine, in awe of his beautiful voice. He knew Blaine had been in the Warblers, but he had never heard him sing alone. It was entrancing. Kurt was almost so distracted by the voice that he almost didn't notice the song Blaine was singing.

_Nothing's gonna harm you _  
><em>Not while I'm around<em>

_Nothing's gonna harm you, darling _  
><em>Not while I'm around<em>

_Demons will charm you with a smile for a while _  
><em>But in time <em>  
><em>Nothing can harm you <em>  
><em>Not while I'm around.<em>

Blaine stilled his voice and met Kurt's eyes, seeing the surprise on the boy's face.

"What is it?" Blaine asked, stilling his hand in Kurt's hair.

"That song...my mom used to sing it to me..."

Blaine swallowed and gave a soft smile. "I know...she told me."

Kurt sat up slowly. "You...you know my mom?"

"The smart, kind, wonderful woman who told me to tell you what I told you before..."

Kurt covered his mouth, stifling a sob. "Oh my god."

"She really misses you," Blaine took Kurt's hand. "She said...she said she likes to go back to your sixth birthday," Blaine rubbed Kurt's back soothingly. "She said they got you a bike and you were so happy."

Kurt sniffed and tried to regain his breathing. "It was the last birthday she got to go to..."

"How did she die, Kurt?"

Kurt swallowed and sighed. "She...she was coming home from taking me to piano practice...a drunk driver hit her head on. They said she died instantly..."

Blaine rested his head on Kurt's shoulder, his hand still stroking over Kurt's back. Kurt could barely feel it. Blaine wished so badly that he could wrap the boy up in his arms and kiss the tears away.

"Is she-" Kurt choked. "Is she ok now?"

Blaine smiled. "Yeah. She's a member of the Council. She as beautiful as you are."

Kurt sniffed and looked up at Blaine. "Thank you...for telling me that."

Blaine nodded and placed a soft kiss to Kurt's forehead. "And just so you know...she accepts you."

Kurt smiled and wiped his eyes. "That's a comfort...I always wondered what she would think of it."

"She thinks the world of you, Kurt...as do I."

Kurt locked eyes with Blaine and glanced between his lips and eyes. Blaine read his mind and pressed his lips to Kurt's, cupping his jaw and tangling his fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck. Kurt relaxed and sighed contentedly into it.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked against Blaine's lips.

"Mmm?" Blaine responded.

"I...I think I love you."

Blaine opened his eyes and looked into Kurt's, his still heart warming slightly.

"I love you, too, Kurt."

Kurt's phone buzzed, startling them both. Kurt picked it up and let out a frustrated sigh before answering it.

"What?"

"_What the hell, Kurt? Open the door,_" Sebastian's angry voice called through the phone. Kurt jumped up and looked out the window, seeing his boyfriend's car outside and Sebastian standing at the door in jeans and a button down maroon shirt.

"I didn't know you were here-"

_"I've only been banging on the door for about five minutes! Open the door!"_

Kurt flinched a little and Blaine gave him a look, one that said 'courage'. Kurt hung up the phone and ran downstairs, Blaine close behind.

When Kurt opened the door, Sebastian looked pissed. "The fuck, Kurt? I called you two days ago and try to apologize and you just ignore me!"

"I told you, I needed to be away from you for a while-"

"Well, a while has passed," Sebastian gripped Kurt's wrist. We've had a fight, Kurt...we have to properly make up," he pressed himself against Kurt, pinning him to the wall along the staircase. Kurt felt fear tear at his stomach as Sebastian's grip on his wrist tightened and the boy began kissing down his neck. He looked over and saw Blaine staring at Sebastian with a look of pure hate.

"You can do it, Kurt. Fight back," Blaine muttered to him. Kurt closed his eyes and shoved Sebastian away harshly.

"I told you I needed time! You're suffocating me!"

"Excuse me?" Sebastian's expression was livid. "Since when do you think you can talk back to me?"

"Since I'm not your fucking toy!" Kurt spat. Blaine smiled smugly at Sebastian.

"I don't think you understand something," Sebastian grabbed Kurt's shoulders and slammed him against the wall. "You're weak, Kurt. Plain and simple. If you weren't, you wouldn't have fallen for me so easily. You knew I had needs and that I don't take no for an answer. If you were any kind of a man, you wouldn't have dealt with it before and you wouldn't have come running back like a little bitch. Now shut up and let me fuck you."

Kurt found his hands crushed against the wall. He struggled against Sebastian, but he was strong.

"Stop it, Sebastian," Kurt growled, shoving against him with his shoulder. Sebastian slapped Kurt hard across the face.

"Kurt, please! Fight back!" Blaine cried out. He was useless to help. "You're better than him, Kurt!"

Kurt felt a surge of adrenaline and finally got his arms free, swinging to punch Sebastian hard in the jaw.

"Get out! I'm done with you! All you've ever done is make me have sex with you and treat me like shit! I'm fucking tired of it. Don't ever come near me again or I'll find a way to make sure you don't!"

Sebastian cradled his jaw, looking stunned and angry. He straightened up and stumbled toward the door. "Kurt, you don't know what you're getting rid of."

"A piece of shit who does nothing but hang out in the closet then comes out to be a fucking bastard to his boyfriend...I think I know what I'm getting rid of. Now get out and don't come back. We're done."

Sebastian shook his head and walked out, slamming the door hard. Kurt leaned back against the wall, catching his breath and raising a hand to feel the side of his face where Sebastian hit him. Blaine walked over and wrapped his arms around Kurt.

"I'm so proud of you, angel," Blaine murmured into Kurt's neck. Kurt only felt the cold air around Blaine, but smiled at the sight of the boy holding him.

"I feel...god, I feel so much better now," Kurt let out a shallow laugh. Blaine looked up and moved Kurt's hand, looking at the harsh red spot.

"That's gonna bruise..."

"Yeah...guess better start coordinating my outfits with purple and black."

Blaine rolled his eyes and smiled. "You're so snarky."

"What can I say?" Kurt shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair. "God, that's a relief."

"You're getting better," Blaine smiled, kissing Kurt's cheek.

"You're making me better," Kurt said softly, meeting Blaine's eyes.

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine smiled.

Kurt swallowed. "I love you, too, Blaine."

* * *

><p><strong>DAAAAAAAW! ok, more to come! This story isn't going to be too terribly long. I've got the last to chapters already written, but there are gonna be a few more in here. I'm gonna skip a bit. I love the end of this story, so I'm a little anxious, lol.<strong>


	5. Loving You How I Can

**Ok, skipping ahead a bit. There will be more about Sebastian I believe, but for now, let's let Kurt and Blaine be happy. Here's a new chappy with some smuttyness and a heartbreaking couple of scenes with Blaine's family. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>When you try your best but you don't succeed<br>__When you get what you want but not what you need  
><em>_When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
><em>_Stuck in reverse_

The crisp early winter air bit at Kurt's cheeks as he finally got out of school for Christmas holidays. The past few months had been crazy to say the very least. He got out of an abusive relationship with Sebastian, had taken Sectionals with little effort, helped his father get elected as Congressman on the national scale and had started to feel a shift in his strength. It started after the fight with Sebastian and got slowly better as he began leaving bullies with biting words after hard shoves into the lockers. As he got more aggressive, the number of attacks seemed to dwindle.

He finally felt like he could walk down the hall without having to look over his shoulder constantly. It was an amazing feeling and he loved it.

And then there was Blaine. Just the thought of the boy was enough to make Kurt smile. Blaine had become less and less of a mentor and more of a friend- an imaginary friend, Blaine always joked. But to Kurt he was much more than that. Kurt loved Blaine with everything he had. Since Blaine confessed that he had loved him too, they had laid down together every night, talking about the way things would be if things were different. For some reason, it was a comfort to them both to know that if things had been different, they would have had what they always wanted- someone to love and be there with when things were bad. Kurt would always drift to sleep with Blaine lying next to him, humming softly into his ear and brushing his fingertips through Kurt's hair. It was always so sweet and intimate.

They worked out a system of talking to each other in public. Kurt purchaced a Bluetooth head set while he was helping his dad with his election and Blaine made a suggestion that when he showed up that Kurt place the headset in his ear, pretending to be in a conversation on his phone- no one would disturb him and it wouldn't look as though he was talking to no one. So Kurt glanced up in the choir room, seeing Blaine lingering by the Christmas tree. Kurt placed the headseat in his ear and beckoned Blaine over with his head. Blaine laughed and walked over, taking the empty seat next to Kurt.

"This place is nuts. I just saw some lady yelling at a student for wearing a Santa hat...called him fatty."

"Coach Sylvester," Kurt scoffed. "She takes getting used to. She calls me Porcelain."

"I can only imagine why," Blaine smirked, dancing his fingertips over the top of Kurt's hand, sending chills down Kurt's arm.

"What are you doing?" Kurt giggled, his body starting to react to the soft touch.

"I've just been...thinking," Blaine glanced up at him.

"About?"

"You," Blaine looked up. Kurt could see his eyes read something differently than they usually did. This was...desire?

"What about me?" Kurt swallowed. The look was something he had never seen before in Blaine...it was hot.

"I'll see you after you get home...then you'll find out," Blaine smiled and winked before his hand was gone from Kurt's and his body was no longer occupying the chair next to Kurt. Kurt let out a breath and removed the ear piece. He crossed his legs and folded his arms across his lap, trying to hide the obvious erection he was sporting. Should he feel dirty? Being turned on by a dead boy? Blaine seemed so alive, even in death, so it was easy to forget...but Kurt's body told him it was perfectly fine.

"Hey, Kurt," Rory flopped down in Blaine's vacated seat. "You ok? Ya look a little flushed."

Kurt coughed and nodded, a smile quickly covering his face. "Fine. Just...hot in here."

"It's snowin' out," Rory gave him a suspicious look.

"Yeah...it is," Kurt mumbled. Rory shrugged and started telling Kurt about a song he wanted to sing for Christmas and Kurt looked at him like he was listening, but in his head, he was imagining what the hell Blaine had in mind for him when he got home.

* * *

><p>"Go, Mr. Congressman. Go greet your adoring fans," Kurt shoved his dad toward the door as Burt fumbled with his tie. "And for God's sake, Dad, take off the cap."<p>

Burt took it off and hung it on the rack by the door. "Ok, ok, we're going. You're not bringing a boy over, are you? You're awfully desperate to get me outta here."

"As your junior campaign manager, I just don't want you getting complacent just because you won," Kurt waved him off. Carole giggled and linked her arm with Burt's.

"Come on, sweetie. He's right, we're running late. Bye, Kurt. Make sure Finn does the laundry when he gets home tomorrow."

"Will do, bye," Kurt said quickly and shut the door. He ran up the stairs back to his room and shut the door. He was suddenly spun around and a pair of cold lips were on his. He breifly opened his eyes to see Blaine's ridiculously long lashes fluttering closed. Kurt melted into it and reached up to feel for Blaine's hips. He found them and squeezed gently. Blaine let out a soft moan into his mouth.

"You took long enough," Blaine smirked against his lips. "Come here," he moved back, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him toward the bed. Kurt lay down next to Blaine, not missing the look of anxiousness and nervousness that flashed momentarily in his brown eyes.

"What is it?" Kurt asked.

"I...I was sort of wondering...I love you, Kurt, but I can't...you know...show you."

Kurt flushed, realizing what Blaine meant.

"So...I was wondering if maybe...I could watch you."

Kurt's eyes widened in surprise. "You mean-"

"And I could talk you through it...help you."

Blaine glanced down at the bed, obviously a little embarassed. "Never mind. I'm sorry. You've been through too much in that department and I just...I wanna be with you so bad and I can't so I just thought-"

Kurt cut him off with his lips, feeling Blaine gasp against his kiss. Kurt was painfully hard just hearing Blaine talk about it.

"Yes," Kurt mumbled against his lips. Blaine leaned back

"Yes?"

"Yeah," Kurt nodded, breathless. Blaine's eyes lingered over Kurt's lips for a moment before he let a light hand drift from Kurt's cheek down his neck and over his broad chest. Kurt slowly started to unbutton his shirt and undo his tie, taking his time and not breaking his gaze from Blaine's. Once Kurt got his top half free, he was shaking, but the pooling in his gut drove him onward. Blaine was taking him in like he was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen.

"I've never seen another man naked before," Blaine stammered. Kurt quirked a smile and unbuttoned his jeans, sliding them down over his thighs and off his legs. Blaine let his eyes move down and his hand slide down Kurt's hip and legs, barely feeling the muscular limbs but loving the way they tensed under his touch.

"Kurt...you're so beautiful," Blaine said softly, looking back up at Kurt. "Please, baby-"

"I know," Kurt smiled. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxer briefs and slid them down, finally removing the last barrier and bearing more than he had ever done with anyone besides Sebastian. Blaine gasped and looked down, taking in the naked form of this beautiful boy- no, man- beside him. Kurt was perfect in every way. Blaine moved down, his body sliding down against Kurt's side, and began to place feather light kisses to Kurt's hip and letting his hand squeeze the other. "Can you feel it?" Blaine asked.

Kurt let out a soft gasp. "A little...it feels good, though."

Blaine smiled against his skin. "Touch yourself, Kurt...I wanna see."

Kurt whimpered and took himself into his hand, squeezing a little before he began to stroke, not too hard. If he did, this would be over far too soon. Blaine watched him hungrily, still kissing up his side and rubbing circles on his hip with his thumb.

"You know what I would do if I could, baby?" Blaine finally reached his neck, his lips dancing over the tender spot at Kurt's collar bone.

"Mmm, what?" Kurt moaned. This was the hottest thing he had ever experienced.

"I'd start right about here," Blaine licked and sucked at the spot. Kurt could barely register it, but it was there, making him twist his wrist at the head of his cock and cry out softly. "Then I'd go slow down your chest. I'd worship you, Kurt."

"God, Blaine," Kurt whined, tensing his grip on himself and using his other hand to stroke his perinium.

"You know, I've always wondered what it was like to suck a boy off," Blaine leaned up and whispered in his ear. "I'd take you into my mouth and suck you like I was made for it."

"Fuck, Blaine, so close!" Kurt cried out. Blaine placed soft kisses on Kurt's cheeks and the corner of his mouth.

"Cum for me, Kurt. I wanna see you cum," Blaine whispered in his ear. Kurt cried out and released hard over his hand and stomach, his body arching against the bed and his head falling back into his pillow. Blaine watched in awe, thinking that he was wrong before- this was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen. Kurt came down slowly from his orgasm, breath heavy and body shaking with pleasure. Blaine smiled against his forehead as he placed comforting kisses to Kurt's sweaty face and hair.

"God, Kurt," Blaine breathed. "You're so beautiful...I know I keep saying it, but it's true. I love you so much."

Kurt smiled, eyes fluttering open slowly as he looked up at Blaine. "I love you, too."

Blaine returned it. "I just wish it was me who made you feel that good."

"You do...you did," Kurt smiled, cupping Blaine's pale cheek with his hand. "That was all you."

Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's palm.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" Kurt asked. Blaine quirked an eyebrow.

"Really? You just did that amazing thing for me and now you wanna watch a movie?"

Kurt laughed. "Well, it can be...like a date."

Blaine raised his eyebrows. "I've...never been on a date."

Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine's nose. "Well...every boy should have his first date, right?"

Blaine's eyes danced a little with a smile and tears. "Kurt...you're so sweet."

"Well, I love you. The least I can do is sit with you and watch a movie. You can hold my hand and everything. We'll make awkward conversation and dodge that final kiss goodnight and everhthing," Kurt nudged Blaine's shoulder. Blaine laughed, blinking rapidly.

"Ok...sounds fun," Blaine smiled. Kurt stood up, pulling his boxer briefs and jeans back on and slipping on a t-shirt. He cleared his throat, turning to look at Blaine.

"Hello, Blaine. I'm here to pick you up for our date," he said in a playfully shy voice. "Are you ready?" he held out his hand. Blaine smiled and wiped his eyes, taking the hand extended to him.

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Kurt was true to his word. Blaine couldn't have asked for a better 'first date'. They sat on the couch, cuddled up watching one of Blaine's favorite movies, "Across the Universe", while their fingers laced together on Kurt's lap. Blaine had seen the movie a thousand times, so he mostly just watched Kurt as he mouthed along to the songs and the light from the screen lit his face. As in true first date fashion, when Kurt caught him and looked up, Blaine quickly looked back at the screen, an innocent look on his face. Both of them giggled when this happened. Blaine couldn't believe Kurt would do this for him. He missed out on so much by killing himself and now he got to live a little bit of it. He couldn't have asked for a better way to get another chance at life.<p>

The movie ended and Blaine looked over to see Kurt fast asleep in his arms. Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's temple, resting his forehead on Kurt's and letting out a faux breath.

"Thank you," he whispered before closing his eyes and listening to the soft sound of Kurt breathing evenly in and out.

* * *

><p>The next day Kurt went Christmas shopping. He typically didn't wait this late to do so, but he was so busy with his dad's campaign that he didn't get the chance.<p>

As he and Rachel strolled through the mall, he felt a hand slip into his- a light touch that only meant that Blaine had joined them. He smiled softly and glanced over to see the boy walking beside him. He squeezed back gently and Blaine gave him a warm smile.

"So, I was thinking of getting Finn a nice sweater from Rue 21. What do you think?"

"He needs anything fashionable he can get," Kurt quipped. "He's pretty set in his 'puffy vest' ways."

Blaine giggled next to him. Rachel nodded.

"Unfortunately. Oooh, look!" she squealed and walked toward Claire's. Kurt heard a frantic voice behind him.

"Have you seen my son?" a woman asked a vender in the middle of the walkway. The vender shook his head, looking a little bothered by being interrupted during a sale. Kurt turned and walked to her. Blaine had let go of his hand and he didn't realize.

"Excuse me, mam, can I help you?" he asked. She was a short, thin Asian woman. She looked like at one time she held a youthful appearance. Kurt could see she had been through a lot.

"I can't find my son, Sean! I told him to wait outside the store and when I came back he was gone," she said tearfully. Kurt heard a distinct accent and tried to place it, but couldn't.

"Well, would you like me to help? What does he look like?"

"He has curly black hair and he's about this tall," she held up her hand at level with Kurt's chest. "He's eleven."

"Um, ok," he said questioningly. It was strange to him that the woman would be so distressed about an eleven year old missing in a mall. "Sean was his name, right?"

She nodded and looked around frantically. "I know this is strange, but he knows how it's been since Blaine died. He knows I don't like him running off-"

Kurt's breath stopped short in his chest. "B-blaine?"

"My son... Sean knows how upset I'd be if...if he..."

"Ma," Kurt heard Blaine behind him. He looked back to see Blaine's face set in shock. Kurt turned back to the hysterical woman.

"I'm sure he's fine. He may have just found a friend or something. I'll help you," Kurt placed a hand on the woman's back and rubbed circles. "Just calm down, ok?"

"Thank you," she choked.

"Ma?" a voice called from behind him. It was slightly higher than Blaine's, so he turned to see a younger boy who looked disturbingly like Blaine, his curls longer and falling over his eyes and ears. Mrs. Anderson ran over and gathered Sean in her arms.

"Why would you take off like that?"

"I'm sorry, Ma," Sean apologized, looking up and giving Kurt an exasperated look. "I just stopped to talk to Jenny and ended up walking her to Hot Topic. I'm sorry, don't cry."

"I just thought-"

"I know," Sean's voice softened a little. Blaine watched the exchange with longing. He knew his mother wasn't dealing with his death well and now he was seeing it first hand. It had affected so many people. "I'm right here, Ma."

Mrs. Anderson straightened up and nodded, wiping her eyes. She turned back to Kurt. "Thank you- I'm sorry, what was your name?"

"Kurt. Kurt Hummel," he shook her hand. Sean looked at him.

"I'm sorry about this," he indicated his mom. "She's been a bit of a wreck."

"I understand...it's ok," Kurt smiled. Rachel scurried back over to him and smiled.

"Found some new earrings on sale! Oh, hi," she smiled at Mrs. Anderson and Sean.

"Hello," Sean smiled. "Come on, Ma. Let's go. You wanted to go to the cemetary, right?"

Mrs. Anderson swallowed. "I don't think I can right now...let's just go home."

Sean nodded and rubbed his mom's back. "Thanks again, Kurt." They walked away and Kurt watched as Blaine took a slight step forward before stopping, his eyes filled with tears.

"Who was that, Kurt?" Rachel asked as she watched him.

"Just a woman looking for her son..." he answered softly. He looked up and Blaine was gone. He wanted to comfort him in some way, but he knew it wouldn't do any good.

"Well, let's go to Rue 21 then," Rachel linked their arms and they headed off toward the store, Kurt's mind buzzing with what just happened.

* * *

><p>Blaine stood in the doorway of his mother's bedroom, watching the young woman clinging to a photo of him and mumbling something in Tagalog. Blaine's father sat beside her, rubbing her back.<p>

"Calm down, Mina, it's ok."

"No it's not, Steven...I want him back."

"I know, sweetie," Steven kissed the side of Mina's head.

"I just want to know why," she sobbed, looking down at the photo. It was of Blaine in his Dalton uniform, smiling brightly at the camera after they had won at Sectionals the year before. His mother was hugging his shoulders and kissing his cheek.

"I don't know," Steven ran his hand over his shaved head. Mina put the frame down and stood up, shrugging off Steven's hand.

"You were always so mean to him," Mina said angrily. "You never treated him like a son."

Steven looked at her angrily. "Excuse me? This is my fault?"

"He just wanted someone to accept him and you treated him like some disease!" Mina yelled. Blaine moved forward. He had never seen his mother so angry. She was always a sweet, soft-spoken woman. Steven stood up and walked over to her, trying to take her hands. She backed away.

"Mina...I'm sorry-"

"Sorry for killing my son? You can't just apologize for that," she spat. Steven closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I wasn't the only one-"

"But you could have been there for him. He was our boy! He needed you and you insulted him and made him feel like the only way out was to die!" Mina leaned against the wall, stifling a sob with her hand. "Just...get out."

Steven looked surprised. "What?"

"Get out of this house...I don't even want to see you anymore."

Steven shook his head. "You're hysterical, Mina...just calm down-"

"No," she snapped. "I'm doing what I should have done when Blaine first came out and you told him he was a dirty fag. Get out and don't come back!"

Steven hesitated for a moment, his fists clenched and trembling. Blaine thought for a moment he was going to hit Mina, but he finally shook his head and walked out of the room. "I'll send for my stuff. You've made your decision."

He stomped out of the house, slamming the front door loudly behind him. Mina slid down the wall and sobbed brokenly, clutching her chest. Blaine ran over and knelt in front of her, letting his own tears fall.

"Ma, please calm down. I know you can't hear me, but I hate seeing you this way. I'm ok, Ma, I swear. I loved you so much. I still love you and Sean," he clutched at her shoulders, trying to project all his emotion that he could, but she still had no idea he was there.

"Blaine," she sobbed. "Why?"

"I was so scared, Ma. It was so stupid and I'm trying to get back. I will get back. I'm gonna find you and Sean again someday and I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm so sorry," he cried and sat next to her, curling into her side like he did when he was little and had a nightmare. "I'm sorry I did this to you."

"Blaine," she wept weakly. Sean came by the door.

"Ma? What happened? Where's Dad going?" he ran over, kneeling in front of his mom.

"Blaine," was all Mina could say. Sean sighed and pulled her in for a hug. Blaine was so proud of his little brother. He could see that Sean grew up quickly in the time that Blaine had been gone. He had to. He was the only son and, now, the only man in the house.

"Sshh, Ma, it's ok. Have you taken your medicine?" he asked. She didn't answer, so he went over to her night stand to see the bottle of antidepressents that had yet to be opened. She had gotten them only two weeks after Blaine's death and hadn't taken a single one. Sean opened the bottle and dumped two of the blue pills into his hand and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water all while Blaine stayed huddled against his mother, still holding on to her like if he didn't he would disappear. Sean came back and sat down in front of her.

"Here, Ma. Take this," Sean held the pills out for her. She didn't move.

"Ma, please," Sean begged. "Blaine wouldn't want this. He would hate to see this right now."

If only he knew, Blaine thought, gripping his mother tighter. She didn't even notice.

"Please, ma, for me..." Sean caught her blank eyes. She looked up at him and studied him for a moment before finally taking the glass of water and the two pills and taking them. Sean took the glass from her and sat on her other side, hugging her tightly.

"Ma, I love you. You still have me. I'm gonna take care of you..." Sean mumbled against her shoulder. "Don't give up. We're gonna be ok."

Mina sobbed and wrapped her arms around Sean. The three Andersons- Sean, Mina, and a ghost of Blaine- sat there for what seemed like forever, crying and holding each other.

Sean began telling his mother stories about him and Blaine as kids that she had never heard before. Blaine remembered why she never knew- they were all stories about trouble they had gotten into.

"And this one time, me and Blaine were outside in the shed trying to build a see-saw," Blaine laughed a choked laugh. He remembered this. "Blaine was trying to figure out how we were gonna keep the thing up and still have it see-saw at the same time. He nailed it to a saw horse and when we tried it, it snapped. We just fell on the ground and laughed forever." Sean laughed at the memory. Mina couldn't help but crack a smile. "We never told you because Dad used to get mad when we would use his tools."

Mina nodded and wiped her eyes. "I'm divorcing your father."

Sean stiffened a little. "I thought so."

Mina sat up and cupped Sean's cheek. "I'm sorry."

Sean shook his head. "It's ok, Ma. I still love you."

Mina studied her son closely and pulled him in for a hug. Blaine rubbed his mother's back slowly before standing up and backing away, not wanting to take his eyes off the scene before him. Finally,  
>he closed his eyes and left.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Wow...this one kind of made me cry...I just know first hand how families deal with suicides and this is pretty close to how I felt about my dad. All the unanswered questions and blaming people that may or may not be to blame. More to come. Also, Glee Love is about to be updated. Still working on the who and how of it, but it will be updated soon. I miss the hell out that story. <strong>


	6. Gaining Control

**hello folks! back to bidness!**

**Also- did anyone else watch Fight Club after tuesday's glee and imagine Blaine as Tyler Durden? just me? ok just wondering.**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>Blaine appeared in Kurt's bedroom that night, his eyes puffy and wet from crying. Kurt was lying in bed, fast asleep and looking like an angel as the moonlight slipped through the curtains and covered his naked torso. Blaine stifled a choked sob as he sat down on the bed beside Kurt, barely leaving an indention. He wanted so badly for Kurt to wake up and hold him and tell him it was all gonna be ok- that his family wasn't going to fall apart and that his mother was gonna be happy again. Blaine knew none of that was true, but to hear it would be wonderful.

Kurt sighed deeply in his sleep and turned toward Blaine, his hand landing about an inch from Blaine's. Blaine slid his hand over the mattress and traced Kurt's fingers with his fingertips, feeling the warm skin over them. He missed it so much- being alive, warm and tangible. Right now, Blaine was a shadow of what he used to be. Since his talk with Elizabeth two months before, he hadn't heard a word from the Council. He knew it was a lost cause. No one ever got a second chance. When you die, you die. There is no opportunity to take it back. The tears came again in a fresh wave with more intensity and Blaine saw one land on the top of Kurt's hand, which twitched a bit a the contact. Blaine stood up off the bed and walked over to the corner, covering his mouth to hide the cry that escaped so he wouldn't wake Kurt, but it was for nothing. Kurt stirred slowly and looked over to Blaine.

"Hey...what's wrong?"

Blaine shook his head. "Nothing...go back to sleep."

"No," Kurt got up out of bed and walked over to the corner Blaine stood in, his face set in concern. "Are you crying?"

Blaine didn't respond. His throat closed up and another sob escaped through his lips. Kurt reached up and cupped his cheeks with his hands.

"Blaine, talk to me. What is it?" Kurt's eyes were beginning to shine, simply from seeing how broken Blaine looked.

"I'm so scared," Blaine whimpered. He had not said it and he had felt it since the day he died. It was then that the floodgates opened and he collapsed into Kurt's arms and cried harder than he thought he ever had. Kurt led him over to the bed and lay them down, holding Blaine tightly against his chest and shushing into his hair, stroking the almost intangible curls there. Kurt knew Blaine's life and after life were probably frustrating and now it was all coming out.

"What are you scared of, sweetie?" Kurt finally asked after a few moments- after Blaine had calmed down a bit.

"Everything. I'm scared that I'm gonna be stuck like this forever, that I won't get my second chance, that my family is falling apart right in front of me and there's nothing that I can do because I'm fucking dead!"

Blaine was past frightened. Now he was just plain pissed. He stood up and began to pace, running his fingers through his hair. Kurt stood up quickly, giving Blaine his space, but being there in case he needed to be.

"What do you mean falling apart?"

"My mom," Blaine choked. "I went and saw her...she was so broken, Kurt...I just wanted to hold her and tell her I was ok but I can't and I'm not! And then she blamed Dad for what I did...he used to be so horrible to me...she thinks that's why I did it...so she kicked him out. They're getting divorced."

Blaine slumped against the bedroom door, leaning his head back and seemingly fighting the urge to hit something. "And Sean...he's growing up so fast and taking care of Ma and I'm missing it...I'm missing everything because I was so fucking selfish..."

Kurt wiped his eyes and walked over to Blaine, placing his hand on Blaine's chest, right where his heart once beat. This calming gesture had Blaine now silently crying and thinking.

"You weren't selfish," Kurt whispered to him. "You were scared with no other thing on your mind but ending the pain. I know exactly how you felt. You felt like nothing or no one could save you no matter what they did...anyone would want that to end."

Blaine shook his head and closed his eyes. Kurt pulled Blaine in for a hug, squeezing the phantom boy as close as he could and trying his hardest to feel him so close. "I'm so sorry about your family, Blaine, but they're hurting too...they don't blame you for anything and you know that. They're scared, too."

"I never meant to hurt them so badly," Blaine said against Kurt's neck.

"I know," Kurt rubbed Blaine's back. "They will see that in time."

Blaine sniffed and leaned up to look at Kurt. "I love you."

Kurt gave Blaine a weak, watery smile. "I love you, too."

"Thank you...I really needed to talk about it, but I didn't wanna wake you up-"

"Never be afraid to wake me up," Kurt gripped Blaine's shoulders, making sure he understood. "You're more important than sleep, I promise."

Blaine smiled and shook his head. No matter what extreme measures he took, he would never believe he was worth more than something else. Kurt sensed this feeling and placed a kiss to Blaine's forehead.

"You matter, Blaine," he quoted his father's cheesy sex talk. Now, it seemed to really be something that needed to be heard by someone as hurt as Blaine. "You matter to your family and to me...no matter whether you're alive or not...you will always be special."

Blaine gave Kurt a small smile- one that reached all the way up to his soft hazel eyes. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's neck and hugged him tightly, clinging to him.

"No one's ever said anything like that to me before."

"It's true," Kurt whispered into Blaine's hair. Blaine leaned back and kissed Kurt deeply, putting all of the thank yous and I love yous he could into the one gesture. Kurt sighed and smiled against Blaine's lips. When they broke apart, Blaine led Kurt back over to his bed and they lay down facing each other. Knees barely brushing, they sat and talked for a while longer about Blaine's childhood and Kurt's glee club friends right up until the sky outside was starting to turn pale pink.

"Damn, I kept you up," Blaine said as he saw this.

"I don't care," Kurt smiled. "I found something better to do than sleep."

Blaine laughed softly and stroked his thumb over Kurt's hand. "You need to get some sleep."

Kurt nodded. "You have to go back to the Plain."

Blaine nodded. "Just for a while. They're gonna be disappointed."

"Why?" Kurt asked curiously.

"I'm supposed to be saving you...you're the one who's saving me."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and sighed. "You have. More than you'll ever know."

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

Kurt woke suddenly around 11 that morning to his brother banging on his door.

"What, Finn?" Finn opened the door and peaked in.

"Sebastian's at the door. Says he wants to talk to you."

Kurt's stomach dropped. He hadn't heard from Sebastian since he kicked him out and broke up with him two months before.

"Tell him to piss off."

"He's pretty upset, dude," Finn said. "He looks like shit."

Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up, slipping on a pair of distressed jeans and a t-shirt before following Finn downstairs and taking a deep breath before he opened the door.

Finn was right- he looked like shit. Sebastian's usually perfectly coiffed hair was loose and tousled. He seemed to have lost the slightest bit of weight and he smelled a bit like alcohol.

"Hey, Kurt," he said softly. He even seemed to have lost a bit of his cockiness.

"What do you want?" Kurt asked briskly. "I believe I said I never wanted to see you again."

"I miss you, Kurt. I miss you so bad it hurts," Sebastian pleaded. "I didn't think I would- that I'd find someone else- but I can't think straight, I can't eat right, I can't sleep...Please, just give me another chance."

"No, Sebastian...all you wanted from me was sex and I was sick of being used...I'm not gonna do that again."

"I'm so sorry," he begged, stepping forward and moving his body close to Kurt's. "Please...I love you, Kurt."

Kurt furrowed his brow in shock. "W-what did you say?"

"I love you...I do and I miss you so much-"

"Let me tell you something, Sebastian," Kurt growled, anger boiling in his gut. How dare he? "You turned me into a sorry version of myself that I will never, ever be again. You forced me to have sex with you more than once and that is only part of it, along with the fact that you aren't man enough to even tell anyone else about me- I know you didn't tell your family OR your friends at Dalton. I felt like some big secret you were hiding from the world. I don't want to be a secret. I don't want to be that sorry version of myself that you made me, either. Get off my porch and don't ever come around me again."

Kurt was now centimeters from Sebastian's face, heat and anger radiating off his body. Sebastian's face fell from what looked like sadness to something like 'oh shit, he found out I was faking'. The smug grin was back.

"We'll see," Sebastian backed down the stairs and turned back toward the car he arrived in. As he drove away, Kurt leaned against the door frame, breathing deeply and calming his racing heart. He looked around for Blaine, but saw that he wasn't there. Then he remembered- he just did that himself. He didn't have Blaine there. Kurt had stood up for himself.

Off in the Plain, Blaine suddenly felt a strange feeling. As he looked down at his hands, which tingled slightly, he saw the color and opaqueness begin to disappear slightly. Kurt was gaining control- Blaine was about to start fading.


	7. Angel Thread

**Left you with a bit of a cliffhanger, eh! Well, here's more. My brain is just plain evil sometimes.**

* * *

><p>Kurt wandered through the kitchen on Christmas Eve, gathering plates to set the table and adding dashes of this and that to the dinner he and Carole had been preparing. Finn and Rachel sat in the living room by the fire, Finn with his arm behind Rachel's back holding her up as she snuggled into his strong shoulder. Kurt sighed at the sight. If only he could have that.<p>

"Sorry," he heard Blaine say behind him. He jumped a little then gave a nervous laugh.

"Jesus you scared me," he said quietly. Blaine's abrupt appearance wasn't the only thing that startled him. Straight through Blaine's clean white shirt he could see the counter Blaine was leaning on. Behind his curly black hair was the cupboard.

"S-sorry for what, exactly?" Kurt finally asked when he stopped staring.

"That I can't give you that," he looked over to Finn and Rachel. "Someone to hold on to."

Kurt gave Blaine a sad smile. "I know you would."

Blaine smiled back. "Forever." He walked over to Kurt and placed a hand over Kurt's heart. "It always speeds up a little when I touch you."

"It feels good. Cold, but good," Kurt breathed out a laugh. Blaine leaned into Kurt's ear.

"You look beautiful tonight, by the way. Red looks amazing on you."

A shiver went up Kurt's spine, but it wasn't from the cold, phantom breath on his ear.

"Kurt?" he heard his father call. When his eyes opened, Blaine was gone and his father was standing in the door in a suit and no cap. He had been to a charity event only a few hours before. "Who you talkin' to in here?"

"No one. Just singing some carols. It is Christmas, after all," he shrugged and turned quickly to hide the erection he had in his dark wash jeans.

"Oh...ok. Well, I was wondering if you knew if I had anything planned for the day after New Year's. The governor wants us to meet him for dinner."

"Not that I know of, but I'll double check later in my planner. Now go sit, dinner's almost ready."

Burt smiled and nodded. "Smells great...whatever it is," he glanced at the dinner on the stove.

"Baked turkey, squash casserole and a fruit salad, Dad. Just because you're a senator now doesn't mean I can just let you go lax on your diet."

Burt humphed and clapped Kurt on the shoulder before walking back toward the dining room, yelling to Finn and Rachel that dinner was ready.

They sat and ate cheerfully, laughing and exchanging stories of Christmases past. Blaine sat in one of the extra chairs that sat in the corner, legs crossed and observing with a smile on his face.

"Kurt, do you remember after your mother died and you tried to make us a turkey for Christmas?" Burt laughed. Kurt blushed and glanced up at Blaine, who looked way more interested.

"Oh god, this already sounds good," Finn said through the casserole.

"He was only about 50 pounds soaking wet and he tried to lift this 15 pound turkey into the stove all by himself. He was gonna surprise me. About four hours later, I started smelling smoke from my bedroom and he was on the phone with the fire department. He was freaking out."

The table, with the exception of Kurt, were howling with laughter. He threw a dirty glance over to Blaine, who was hiding his laughter, but his shaking shoulders gave him away.

"What happened?" Carole asked.

"I grabbed the phone and told them the address and they came over. Nothing was burned except that huge turkey. We went to McDonald's instead. It was still a wonderful Christmas," Burt leaned over to Kurt and nudged his arm. A small smile crept across Kurt's face. He remembered that Christmas vividly and to that day it was still the best Christmas he had ever had.

The stories continued thusly, stories of Finn and a gingerbread house- "He ate the whole thing!"- Rachel and her dads going to see Fiddler on the Roof, Carole bringing home a guy who actually played Santa Claus at the mall. Kurt continued to hear the occasional giggle from Blaine's direction and each time he glanced over, he saw how the boy was so calm and happy- even included a bit.

"Dinner was amazing, guys. Ok, so you guys both get one present to open tonight and tomorrow morning we'll do the rest," Burt announced, standing up. Finn was the first one up, however, heading toward the tree. Apparently, he already knew which one he was going to open. It was a fine art Kurt had also developed as a child of picking out which one looked the most interesting to open first. They got their gifts and Finn whooped when he opened Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.

"I knew it! I'm not sleeping tonight! I'm gonna call Puck! Thanks, guys!" With a quick kiss to Carole and Burt's cheeks and a ruffle of the hair for Kurt, he took Rachel's hand and headed upstairs.

Kurt opened his and found a beautiful Dior jacket that he had been asking for. He squealed much like Finn and hugged his parents before they decided it was time for bed. Kurt took the jacket upstairs and when he shut the door, he saw Blaine lying back on his bed.

"Dior, huh? Nice!"

"Yeah. God, they always spend way too much on me."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "It's Christmas, babe. Join me," Blaine patted the bed next to him. Kurt draped the coat over his vanity chair and lay down in a mirror image to Blaine- hands linked behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles.

"So...what does your family normally do on Christmas?"

Blaine's eyes went a little distant, but he shook his head. "Well, normally we visit the Phillipines and see my grandparents. They don't come here- too cold," he laughed. "I don't think I've had a Christmas in Ohio since I was a baby. It's kind of nice to see the snow with the lights."

Kurt smiled and turned his head to Blaine, studying his profile. Though he was obviously more translucent than before, his features still managed to take Kurt's breath away.

"I wish I could have gotten you something. That was always my favorite thing about Christmas- giving gifts. Seeing other people happy because of something you did for them..."

Kurt propped up on his elbow and placed a hand on Blaine's barely-there arm. "You shouldn't worry about that. This has been the strangest year I've ever had, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Just you having come to me...you still being here...that's enough."

Blaine tilted his head toward Kurt a little, locking eyes with him. "I love you."

Kurt smiled and brought Blaine's hand to his lips, brushing them against his knuckles before kissing the middle one. "I love you, too."

Blaine lay with Kurt for hours after he fell asleep, humming slow, sweet carols his mother used to sing to him under his breath before disappearing into the night. When Kurt woke the next morning, he found something on his pillow- a small, square box.

Kurt furrowed his brow then picked it up, turning it over in his hand. It wasn't wrapped- it was a red leather jewelry box with a note attached to it.

_Kurt,_

_I had to pull a few strings with this, but it's very special. Something you can't get in any store or anywhere on Earth. It's so you'll always remember me even if when I finally go, I never come back. You're everything to me even in death. I'll see you soon._

_XO_

Kurt felt tears spring into his eyes as he opened the box. It was a chain- a beautiful, silver chain that had a set of angel wings clasped into it. The silver seemed to shimmer in the light of the early morning, or so Kurt assumed. He covered his mouth to stifle the gasp as he held the feather-weight necklace with his fingers and examined it.

"It's called Angel Thread," Blaine sat next to him. "Angel's wings are laced with it. When they find someone special, they weave it into chains and present them. I almost couldn't get it, but your mom is pretty important up there...she got it for me to give to you."

Kurt felt his heart burst. The pain in his chest was definitely a good one.

"Oh...Blaine," Kurt choked. Blaine took the chain from Kurt's hand and moved behind him, placing it carefully around his neck and clipping the back. It looked absolutely breathtaking against Kurt's pale neck.

"Beautiful," Blaine breathed against Kurt's ear. Kurt turned and kissed Blaine hard, tears falling down his cheeks and in between their lips. Blaine smiled against them and laced his fingers in Kurt's hair, gently tugging him closer. When they finally broke away, Blaine looked up.

"So...you like it?"

"This is the sweetest thing...I'll have it forever," Kurt smiled through the cascade of tears. Blaine placed a kiss to Kurt's forehead.

"It was all I could do...and it was perfect."

"It is...thank you," Kurt breathed out, resting his forehead against Blaine's. Blaine closed his eyes and fought back the urge to cry. His reasons for giving this to Kurt now weren't simply for holiday exchange. The tingles in his body were getting worse- his color was fading faster. He hadn't heard anything from the Council concerning his case and he was disappearing, moving on to the next realm. He held Kurt for a while, just being there, scared and trying to stay strong and secretive. He wasn't about to ruin this moment. Just a little bit longer and he would let Kurt know but for now, he just wanted to be.


	8. The Decision

January came in a frenzy of study sessions and preparations for graduation. Kurt wasn't to worried about studying- he had a 3.9 GPA and was pretty much guaranteed saluditorian behind the Indian kid in his Calculus class. Mostly, he spent his time with the Glee club, getting ready for Nationals and simply being together in their last four months of high school. The change in him was brought to his attention daily. Mercedes often pointed out how much sillier and relaxed he seemed- like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Quinn talked about how he seemed to be glowing and pressured him for information about the mysterious boyfriend he had to have been hiding. When these things came about, he simply twisted the chain around his neck in his fingertips, feeling the cool, ethereal metal against his skin, and smiled, denying anything of the sort while Blaine sat next to him, his hand resting on Kurt's knee.

It was near the end of January when Kurt and Blaine were sitting in glee, giggling as Blaine made comments that Rachel's shoes didn't match her skirt when he was abruptly called back to the Plain. When he got there, he noticed the crowd had diminished slightly. Samson, a six year old boy he had made friends with that died in a fiery car crash, had apparently earned his spot in the Judgement Hall and moved on. Blaine fought with the anxiety and fear he felt when he noticed that other people he had come in contact with had also left the Plain.

"Blaine Anderson," he heard Jacob call him from the arch. It was rare, again, that the elders address one by name, but for the head of the Council to leave his seat to find you was never good.

He followed Jacob through the arch, going through all of the possibilties in his head. Elizabeth said he wouldn't get in trouble for giving Kurt the Angel Thread necklace, so either he was about to be given his second chance, or-

"Blaine, how are you?" Jacob asked, taking his seat and peering through his half-moon glasses at him, his eyes void of expression.

"F-fine, thank you..." he stammered. Elizabeth looked shocked at his state- ghostly pale blue.

"Blaine, you may have noticed the change in you," Jacob nodded toward him. "You have been cleared for Judgement."

Blaine felt an ache in him. "J-judgement?"

"You're moving on."

The ache throbbed. Blaine shook his head.

"No, wait...I thought you said I could get a second chance-"

"You were a good boy in your life, Blaine," the elderly woman next to Jacob spoke up. "The Father chose you himself. There is no question that you will earn your wings."

"I'm sorry, Blaine, but if the Judge calls on any certain person...it's really out of our hands."

"But I wanna go back! I have to! Everything I love is there! My friends, my family-"

"Kurt," Jacob tilted his head, studying Blaine's reaction. Blaine's angry eyes softened at simply the sound of his name. "I understand that you fell in love with the mortal you were to be helping. What's done is done now, Blaine. The Father has called you home."

Blaine's anger returned. "Did you even try! Did you even attempt to help me! I went for months of hearing nothing from you and all of a sudden God wants me personally! Why can't I prove to you that I deserve this! I could do anything if I went back! I'll become a priest, a soldier, a freaking superhero! I don't care, just please send me back!"

Elizabeth sobbed softly in her seat. Blaine's sight shot to her and he walked over, placing his hands over hers on the desk.

"Mrs. Hummel...Elizabeth...you know I can go back and change...please, I want to be with Kurt. He's everything to me...please, just tell them..."

Elizabeth's hands slid from Blaine's and she covered her mouth with them, her tears sliding down her beautiful porcelain face- the same face he fell in love with on Earth. Blaine backed away from the table, his hands slipping through his curls and his own tears finally falling.

"The emotions of a teenager," Jacob mused. "All of that feeling and nowhere for it to go. Do understand that I take pity on you, Blaine Anderson...but there's nothing I can do."

Blaine hit his knees, burying his face in his hands. "P-please..."

Jacob closed his eyes slowly. "I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>Two weeks had gone by since Blaine had disappeared to the Plain. Two weeks that Kurt lived in worry. He barely slept the first few nights and the only reason he slept the other nights was because of exhaustion. At school, he was seemingly normal, not wanting to create the illusion that he wasn't strong. If this had happened before Blaine had come along, he would have lost it, but Blaine definitely did his job and Kurt managed, hoping to hear something about it.<p>

Kurt woke abruptly on a cold night in mid-February in a cold sweat from a vivid dream. A cold pressure wrapped around his shoulders and grazed his face.

"Ssh, it's ok. I'm here," Blaine's voice appeared at his ear. He relaxed his body in relief.

"Blaine...god, where have you been? I just had this horrible dream that you left...you moved on and couldn't say goodbye..."

"Don't worry about that now," he cooed softly in his ear and lay Kurt back on the bed.

"What's going on? Did they tell you anything?"

"Like I said...not now," Blaine pulled Kurt close, wrapping the blanket tightly around him and moving his hand up to stroke Kurt's hair. Kurt wanted to argue, but Blaine was humming a beautiful hymn softly in his ear and his eyes began to slide closed.

_Rock of Ages, cleft for me_  
><em>Let me hide myself in Thee<em>  
><em>Let the water and the blood<em>  
><em>From Thy wounded side which flowed<em>

_Be of sin; the double cure_  
><em>Save from wrath and make me pure<em>

Blaine cried quietly while Kurt slept. He knew he had to figure out how to tell Kurt about this, but he wasn't sure he was ready to. There were so many things he still wanted to do. Not only for Kurt, but for his family- his family that fell apart because of him.

Blaine always knew he wanted to reach out to his family, though he had been afraid to, thinking they wouldn't recognize it. He suddenly got an idea and moved off the bed, running to Kurt's desk and sitting down, taking a pen and paper and beginning to do translations in his head.

* * *

><p><strong>Well...getting close to the end...the next two chapters will be the last. I never intended for this to be a terribly long story and it probably wasn't the best I could have done, but I have three other WIP's and I wanna get to those as well. I have a strange feeling I'll be writing and posting those this very evening. I'm on a roll right now.<strong>


	9. Last Night On Earth

Kurt thanked the god who he now had a feeling must have existed that it was Saturday. He woke around ten that morning still a little tired from the lack of sleep he had been getting. The dream he had the night before still haunted him, but then he remembered-

"Blaine?" Kurt sat up, looking around and seeing the ethereal boy sitting at his desk chair, just looking out the window with his knees drawn to his chest and his eyes up to the sky. He was transparent, the only true indication that he was there was the slight shine of his eyes and the wavy impression in the air over the books that rested on Kurt's desk. He turned his head to look at Kurt, a small smile on his face.

"Hey, beautiful," he stood slowly, practically gliding toward the bed and sitting. The bed didn't even register his pressure. Kurt was caught between being in awe of Blaine and being upset that he was so much less than he was.

"We need to talk, Kurt," Blaine took Kurt's hand in his. Kurt felt his stomach jerk a bit- his hand simply floated. There was no feeling and he already felt like he was missing Blaine. "It's really important."

"O-of course," Kurt's voice cracked. He already knew, but he didn't want to hear it. It would be far too final.

Blaine's thumb moved across the skin of Kurt's hand as he turned it over and traced his palm, then the soft skin of his wrist. "What do you feel?"

Kurt swallowed. "It's...just static...like rubbing a balloon over the hair on your arms. Blaine, what's-"

"I'm getting Judged, Kurt," he said almost so quickly and quietly that Kurt might have missed it, but he didn't.

"I-I'm moving on."

Kurt closed his eyes and begged in his head to anyone that would listen- anyone that could help. He looked so forward to that chance to have Blaine in life- to be with him forever on an equal plane, but now...it was gone.

"Blaine..."

"I tried, Kurt...I tried so hard I thought I would die all over again, but God called to me himself...they can't change that..." Blaine's hollow voice seemed to echo around him. It did echo...because he was leaving Kurt...forever.

Kurt buried his head in his hands and cried, gripping the chain around his neck like a lifeline, willing it to tether Blaine to life. Blaine moved off the bed and knelt in front of Kurt, resting his head on Kurt's hair and letting his tears fall onto nothing. He had cried enough in the past two weeks to never be able to again, but the breaking of his lover's heart brought them on anew. Whispers of 'I'm sorry's and 'Forgive me's filled the room. When Kurt slightly calmed, he looked into Blaine's eyes.

"I have nothing to forgive you for, Blaine. You were the most amazing person I had ever met. I know you tried everything...it just hurts so bad to know you're leaving me here..."

"I wish I never had to," Blaine cupped Kurt's face, cradling it like a precious relic. He wanted to kiss away the tears and the flush on his face and see him smile, laugh, sigh.

"W-when?" Kurt asked. "When are you moving on?"

Blaine shook his head. "Soon. Kurt," he turned Kurt's face back up to meet his gaze. "There's something very important that I want for you to do for me. This means so much to me and I want you to be the one to do this..."

Kurt nodded. "What is it? Anything."

Blaine stood up and walked back to the desk, picking up the envelope that held the letter he had written the night before and placing it in Kurt's hands.

Across the middle of the envelope, in beautiful, but blocky, script was 'Ma and Sean'.

"I'm going to go with you. I want you to take this to my family... I want you to tell them everything."

"Blaine," Kurt gasped, his hands shaking. "I can't-"

"You can, Kurt," Blaine knelt down in front of him, taking the envelope from him and grasping his hands in his. "You are so strong...stronger than I ever could have hoped to be. They need to know that I'm ok."

"They won't believe me-"

"Make them believe. I know you can. I trust you."

Kurt licked his salty lips and looked up from where his hands were clasped tightly in his lap to Blaine's eyes, seeing the desperation in them.

"I don't have much time. I need to know they're going to be ok."

Kurt choked and nodded. Blaine stood up enough to wrap his arms around Kurt, burying his face into his neck and thanking him. Kurt reached up and touched Blaine's hair, feeling it slip in his fingers like smoke.

"You have know idea what this means to me, Kurt. When I do move on, I know that you're gonna be ok. You're so brave, baby."

Kurt felt a part of his heart that believed it, though his chest was clenched so painfully that it barely registered. Blaine sat back on his heels and lay his head in Kurt's lap, wishing he could breathe in the smell of the boy to remember this moment. Kurt eyed the letter on the bed.

"When should we go?"

Blaine rubbed his hand up Kurt's calf then back down in a comforting motion. "Tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Kurt pulled up into a circle drive in Westerville, Ohio, in front of a large, beautiful Tudor home surrounded by rose bushes. When he stopped, he looked over to Blaine, who was staring around with a longing look.<p>

"This was my home," he said softly, his voice barely recognizable among the resonating echo. "The only home I ever had. I miss it."

Kurt looked up and saw a large swing set in the side yard. It was worn and wooden and he could almost see a small Blaine swinging on the wooden swing, giggling with his little brother with a bright, playful smile, curls bouncing with the gravity as he went back and forth. Finally, Kurt killed the engine and took the letter that he had placed in the visor over his seat.

"Ready?" Kurt asked Blaine.

Blaine smiled and cupped Kurt's face. "Yeah."

Kurt stepped out of the truck and walked around the walkway up toward the front porch, Blaine appearing beside him. He felt a cold pressure against the small of his back, telling him Blaine had rested his hand there and was guiding him on. When he reached the front door, he took a deep breath and knocked.

A dog barked inside, making Blaine laugh. "Amelia. She hates new people, so Sean's about to start yelling."

"Shut up, Amelia! Go to your bed!" a high, clear voice came through the door. Kurt couldn't fight the smile that appeared on his face. Blaine's hand disappeared and he stepped back a few paces to the side. The door opened and Sean peaked out, one earbud dangling from his neck and a Gameboy in his hand.

"Hi. Kurt, right? From the mall?" he opened the door further and leaned against the frame.

"Y-yes. You have a good memory."

"Thanks," Sean smiled. "What's up?"

Kurt swallowed and nervously thumbed at the corner of the envelope. "Well, I was hoping your mom was home...I have to talk to her about something important."

"Yeah, sure. Just a sec," he held up a finger and ran back into the house.

"He's getting so big," Blaine said. "He's almost as tall as me."

"That's not that hard," Kurt smirked, hoping to make Blaine smile. It worked.

"Hush, you," Blaine grinned. Sean came pounding back toward the door and a moment later, Mrs. Anderson appeared, a bit smaller and older looking than the first time Kurt saw her. Blaine gasped quietly, but Kurt cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Anderson, I'm Kurt Hummel. We met at the mall once."

She nodded. "Oh, call me Mina. I remember you, Kurt. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he stammered. Blaine could tell he was freezing up, so he placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Kurt relaxed slightly.

"This is going to sound like the craziest thing you've ever heard...trust me, it's been a crazy few months for me, too...but since your son passed away...he's been with me."

Sean's curious tilt of the head turned immediately into shock and disbelief. Mina looked almost...furious.

"Is this some joke?"

"No, mam, I swear. I know it sounds crazy, but-"

"Are you mocking my son? He took his own life because people mocked him! I won't let you stand here in the doorstep of his home and-"

"Please, Mina. I have this," he held up the envelope. "Please, just read it. It should tell you everything. I was about to do what Blaine did and he saved me. He was sent back here to help me."

Mina eyed the letter like it was going to explode. "Who wrote this?"

"He did. Friday night in my room. I don't know what it says. He wrote it in some other language..."

Mina's eyebrows raised slightly. "What language?"

"I don't know...he said you'd know what it said," Kurt held up the letter a little higher, hoping that she would take it.

"Ma...do you want me to read it?" Sean stepped up.

"This is nonsense," she shook her head, though not sounding totally convinced that it was.

"It doesn't hurt to at least try...what was that that Blaine said one time? 'In nonsense is strength' or something?"

"Sounds like him," Kurt smiled smally. Blaine thumped Kurt's shoulder.

Mina looked between Kurt, Sean and the letter then nodded, crossing her arms in front of her and watching Sean take the letter from Kurt. Blaine hadn't sealed it, so he slid the flap out of the envelope and pulled out the letter.

"Ma," he said, his eyes widening when he opened it. "This is Blaine's handwriting."

Mina looked down and suddenly shrieked like she had seen a ghost, her had flying to her mouth. "Dear God," she mumbled.

"Dated Friday, March 12th, 2012," he read the date at the top. "Kurt's right, Ma, this was written Friday."

Mina leaned back against the door frame, her eyes squeezed shut and her head shaking. She was mumbling in her language under her breath. Blaine couldn't take it anymore. He walked over and placed his hands on her shoulder.

"Ma, it's me. Kurt's telling the truth. Please believe him. I need you to." He continued to plea with her in broken English, hoping something would get through to her. Eventually, she stood up, her chest still heaving slightly.

"What does it say?" she asked.

Sean blinked tears away and sniffed. "It's in Tagalog. It may take me a second...ok."

Kurt was just as curious as the other two as to what Blaine had to say. Sean's voice, though wavering slightly, began to read.

_Ma and Sean,_

_You're probably wondering why Kurt is here and why I'm connected to him. Immediately after I died, I was told that I was to come back and help another. They saw that I regretted what I did and that I wanted to help others. They sent me to Kurt. Since then, I've been helping him to not make the same horrible mistake that I made and I did. I saved him. I finally did something that truly made me happy. The funny thing about it is that I fell in love. I knew I shouldn't have and that eventually this day would come where I would probably have to leave him, but I love him more than I could have ever imagined loving someone. Before I go, there are some things I have to say. Hopefully, some of these things will bring comfort to you both._

Sean stopped momentarily to take a deep breath, blinking his eyes rapidly and glancing over at his mother, who had her eyes closed, her hand clutching her chest.

"Please, Sean," she whispered.

_Ma, I want you to know that none of this is your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. You may not know it, but for years I was taunted and abused by other people because of the way I was. I'm not blaming being gay on that at all- I love who I am and understand that now- but I let it get to me and that's why I did it. I felt like the world hated me and if you have ever felt that, you know it can be painful. I just wanted the pain to go away. Understand that you were one of the most important people in my life. I looked up to you because you were so determined and strong-willed. Even when your first book didn't do so well, you took what you found wrong with it and made something better. Don't worry about Dad. I know that you two weren't happy even before I died. It wasn't his fault that I killed myself, either. Yes, he hurt me and contributed to the hurt feelings, but he didn't kill me. Don't hold that against him. He was my hero as a kid and I still honor the fact that he did so much for us and for our country._

_Sean, you have become someone else I feel like I could look up to. You're so mature and tough to take care of Ma after what happened. You may have missed out on a few outings with your friends, but I know you didn't really care. You are selfless and compassionate and you're my baby brother. I'll always remember how we used to go watch the Reds play and you said you wanted to grow up and be just like Bill Bray. _

Sean stopped again, this time to wipe the river of tears falling down his face and swallow hard. Kurt felt compelled to squeeze the boy's shoulder in comfort. Sean didn't shy away. Mina still hadn't moved from her position, though now she was watching her youngest son break down. Blaine saw that it was getting through to them.

"Come on, Sean," Blaine said to him. Sean looked up quickly, almost as if-

"Was that you?" he asked Kurt. Kurt slowly shook his head.

Sean looked confused and frightened. "What the-"

"I'm here, Sean..." Blaine approached him, placing his hand on Sean's other shoulder. Sean gasped and stared straight at Blaine. Though he couldn't see him, he felt him.

"Keep reading, nito," Mina finally said from the door, her voice now calm and steady.

Sean swallowed hard and lifted the shaking letter up again.

_You keep on working on that curve ball we were practicing and I promise you one day you'll make it all the way to the big leagues. I'll try and make it to any games that I can. Never give up on anything. Always stick it out no matter hard life can be. People are cruel, but you are tough. I feel confident that you will be just fine. Keep close to Ma. Even when you marry and move away, remember that she's there and she loves you and needs you and no matter how old you are, you're still her little boy just like me. _

_I've said all I needed, though there's so much more I want to say, like how I'll miss you all forever and I'll never forget you. I want to tell you that I'm gonna be ok and you don't ever need to worry about me anymore because I'm going to a good place. They say Heaven is beyond beauty. Who wouldn't want to be in such a place? I'll wait for every single one of you. Even you, Kurt. You were my first love and even though we met in such a strange way, I will always treasure the time I had with you. I love you and I'll miss you._

_Love, Blaine_

Mina immediately wrapped her arms around Sean, letting the boy cry into her shoulder. They both felt immense relief from the words from their loved one and couldn't help the slight laughs that came between them.

"Bill Bray, huh? That good, Blaine?" Sean wiped his eyes. Kurt smiled through watery eyes.

Mina took the letter and ran her fingertips over it slowly, taking in every curve and angle of his penmanship. "That was my Blaine. Every word of it."

She looked up at Kurt and a look of pure gratitude and sorrow pierced his eyes. "He...he loved you."

Kurt nodded, swallowing hard. "And I loved him."

She walked over and cupped his face, wiping away the tears with her thumbs. "Then you have lost a loved one, too."

Kurt sniffed. "I think I more loved a lost one," he smiled, making Blaine roll his eyes a little and smile. It was obvious the distress Blaine had been feeling during the past days had been lifted away. Sean was still looking around a little.

"What's wrong, nito?" Mina asked.

"The voice," he furrowed his brow. Kurt looked over to Blaine, who still stood in front of Sean. Sean followed his gaze then realized.

"Kurt...is he?"

"Right there," he nodded directly in front of Sean. The boy froze, staring into the space before him. Blaine took his hand and placed it back on Sean's shoulder.

"Oh, god, he's-"

"Touching your shoulder," Kurt nodded. Sean reached up and placed his hand directly over Blaine's, feeling the cold static of energy.

"B-blaine? Can you hear me?"

Blaine leaned a little close to him, saying directly into his ear, "Yeah, bud."

Sean choked. "I miss you, bubba."

Kurt could see Blaine bite his bottom lip, fighting away the anguish. "I miss you too."

Sean squeezed Blaine's hand and Blaine wrapped his arm around Sean's shoulder, the boy tensing slightly then relaxing when he realized what he felt.

"I don't want you to go..."

"I know," Blaine said sadly. "I'll never forget you."

"Me either," Sean sniffed.

"We're gonna go, ok? Take care. You're the man around here noe. Stay strong."

Sean nodded. "I promise."

Blaine backed away. "Tell Ma I said I love her."

"He says he loves you," he said to his mother. Mina swallowed and nodded.

"I love you too, nito."

"He says stay strong for him."

She nodded and Kurt hugged her tightly, feeling her respond quickly by clinging to him, her head resting just at the bottom of his chest.

"I want to see you again, Kurt. My son loved you...you are a part of his family now."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you."

Mina stepped back and wiped her eyes. Kurt and Blaine stepped back off the porch and walked back to the car as Sean wrapped his arms around Mina's slender shoulders, watching as Kurt got into his car and drove away.

* * *

><p>The moon shined through Kurt's window as he lay facing Blaine that night, almost completely unable to see him now, but feeling him there.<p>

"You're going, aren't you?" Kurt asked, his voice thick.

"I think so...It's getting hard to see."

Kurt buried his face into the pillow, trying not to cry. He didn't want to.

"It's ok, Kurt," he felt his hair being pushed off his forehead. "You can cry. I'm going to miss you."

Kurt's heart shattered. "I'll miss you, too."

"I'll stay here as long as I can...but you need to sleep."

"No," Kurt sobbed. Blaine placed his lips to Kurt's forehead gently.

"I love you, angel...now sleep."

Kurt sat against a large oak tree, the sun burning in the sky in pinks and oranges and purples. He felt like he was waiting for something, but he didn't know what or how he got there. Kurt stood up and looked around, not recognizing the beautiful field he was in. There were no houses anywhere around him, only flowers and a blanket lying among them.

"Kurt?" he heard a voice in the distance. It startled him. That voice.

"Kurt! Over here!"

Blaine was walking up from over the hill behind the tree, dressed in white pants and a white shirt. Kurt couldn't move from the impact of his beauty hitting him full force. When Blaine finally reached him, he pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Kurt could smell him- sandalwood. He felt the skin on skin contact of their lips touching, Blaine's hand on the back of his neck, the gentle breath as Blaine exhaled into the kiss. He was dizzy from it all and pulled away slowly, looking into the golden pools that were Blaine's eyes.

"I...I can feel you-"

"One more night, Kurt...just you and me...and I want to show you how much I love you...just like I've wanted to for so long," he smiled, running his thumb over Kurt's jaw. Kurt leaned forward and captured his lips again, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck and pulling him close. A heartbeat hammered against Kurt's wildly, making him almost cry with relief. Blaine let go and led Kurt over to the blanket on the ground, lying him back and pulling him close. Their bodies fit together like they were made that way and when Blaine rested fully on top of him, he let out a soft moan as their hips met.

"Blaine," Kurt whined.

"I know, baby," Blaine kissed down his jaw and started unbuttoning his shirt. He sat up on his knees to slide it off his shoulders and Kurt's breath stilled in his chest. Blaine was perfect. The only marr on his beautiful olive skin was the rope burn still laced around his neck.

Blaine leaned back down and rolled Kurt on top of him, helping him with his shirt as well. Once it and both of their pants were gone, they lay bare before each other. Kurt didn't think he'd ever see anything as immaculate as Blaine Anderson again in his lifetime.

"I want to make love to you, Kurt...I want you to always remember how much I loved you," Blaine said as he ran his hand up Kurt's side and neck, resting there and squeezing ever so gently.

Kurt nodded and kissed him, their lips melting into one another's and making them seemingly one. Blaine slowly and gently prepared Kurt, kissing gently over his face and neck and chest as he did so, praising his beauty and how good he was doing. When Blaine finally entered him, no words by any poet could describe the feeling they both shared. It was slow, tender and unrushed. It was perfect.

Blaine came with a loud cry just seconds before Kurt, whose back arched up off the blanket as he grasped at the hand that entwined with his by his head. Blaine pulled out gently and held his shaking lover close, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck. After a moment, they lay back, hands clasped between them as the moon rose over them.

"I have to let you go now," Kurt said over the crickets and cicadas.

"I know. I'll never forget you, Kurt Hummel," Blaine rubbed his thumb over Kurt's knuckle.

"I'll never forget you either, Blaine Anderson."

Blaine smiled and kissed him softly on the lips before he mumbled against them, "It's time to wake up now, angel."

Kurt sat straight up in his bed, the room flooded with light of the early morning sun. His heart was racing, but it was a good feeling. When he looked over to his right, the bed was empty. Blaine was gone.

Kurt stood up and walked to the window, his fingers toying with the Angel Thread necklace around his neck. Kurt Hummel had never believed in Heaven before, but as he looked up at the sun rise and into the horizon, he hoped with all his heart that the sweet brown-eyed boy who saved his life was there and was going to be happy forever.

* * *

><p>Blaine approached the Hall's center, feeling completely light and smiling to himself. If he had to go, he was happy for what he got to experience with Kurt. It would never be the same to Kurt, he knew, but he hoped Kurt would never forget it.<p>

"Blaine," Elizabeth called from behind him. He turned quickly and saw her standing with a smile on her face.

"I have something to tell you," she stepped forward.

"I thought I was getting Judged," he looked toward the end of the hall- a blinding white light blocking out anything beyond.

"You have been, Blaine. I need you to come with me now," she held out her hand. He went to take it, but retracted slightly.

"Where are we going?"

Elizabeth just smiled and too his hand. The world went black.

"He's back, someone get me a morphine shot!" was the last thing he heard before he passed out.

* * *

><p><strong>WOAH WHAT!<strong>


	10. Josh Wilder

**Well, this is it. I truly enjoyed this short little story and I hope you all did as well. Fear not, minions, I will be continuing to write. If you have anything- one shots to multi-chapters- that you want me to do or to collaborate on, let me know! Here's our final chapter.**

* * *

><p><strong>Five Years Later<strong>

****Kurt woke slowly, feeling his stomach turning and his head throbbing like he had just been hit by a truck. The warm body behind him told him that he wasn't alone again and would likely not remember the name that belonged to the body, but he couldn't really bring himself to care anymore.

The churning in his stomach sent him out of the bed and stumbling toward the bathroom and he vomited into the toilet, clutching the rim. Kurt sat back shaking and holding his head, feeling the cold tile against his naked body.

"You ok in there?" he heard a gruff voice- one that belonged to the warm body, no doubt- call from the door.

"Y-yeah," he said hoarsely. After a few minutes, the man returned with a glass of water, a breath mint, and some Advil. Kurt took them blindly and sat back against the cabinet.

"Need anything else?" the man asked. He seemed nice enough, a far cry from the usual men Kurt found at the bar.

"Where are my clothes?" Kurt asked, finally opening his eyes and looking around.

"Well, your underwear is there," he pointed right in front of him, "jeans are over by the bed and you didn't have a shirt on when we met."

Kurt couldn't help but let out a hollow laugh. It sounded like him. He pulled on his boxers and stood slowly to retrieve the jeans. The naked man was digging through his drawer and he pulled out a white t-shirt.

"Here," he handed it to Kurt. "It's probably a little tight, but that's how I usually wear them."

Kurt nodded and took it, slipping it on. The man was attractive, most definitely. Tan, blond and tall.

"Thanks, I guess. I should go...sorry, what was your name again?"

"Logan," he answered, sounding a little hurt.

"Logan," Kurt mumbled and raked his fingers through his short hair. "Um, thanks for taking care of me this morning. Where are we?"

"Tribeca."

Kurt groaned. He would be half-way across Manhattan from his apartment.

"Ok. I better go. See ya, I guess," Kurt turned quickly and walked out, hoping to avoid the awkward morning after routine.

After taking a cab as far as his money would take him, he walked the rest of the way, pulling a cigarette out of his jeans and lighting it. Each time he did it, he thought about where his life had gone. Right after Blaine moved on, he finished high school- saludatorian as he predicted- and finished college with a degree in music, but about two months later, everything started to suck. He got his first taste of New York night life after being cooped up in his apartment studying and it hit him hard. Drugs, sex, booze...it was all he knew now. He had cut his hair, let a goatee grow out that he said he would never have, and fashion didn't matter to him at all anymore. Whatever he rolled out of bed in was typically what he donned for the rest of the day. He never actually dated again after Blaine left, but he was what he labeled a whore. He had been paid for his one night stands more often than not, though it gave him no pride whatsoever.

He kept in contact with Mina and Sean, who had just graduated high school and had planned on coming to New York over the summer to see him, but he was a top pick by the Reds and spent the summer training. Kurt refused to tell Mina that he had hit rock bottom.

Kurt found his apartment and sat down on the steps, inhaling his cigarette and scratching fitfully at his neck. It had been three days since his last fix and he was ansy.

A quick text to a friend fixed that and he walked over to the alleyway by his apartment to make the transaction- a quick blowjob behind a brick column in exchange for a single syringe. Kurt watched the man walk away and he turned back to his steps, the syringe in his hand. He studied it closely, noting exactly how much was inside. The whole thing would kill him...a few measly minutes and he would be out of the hell he was in. His mind was a haze of want and desperation.

Kurt just didn't care anymore. Everything he had that was great- his music, his pride, his love...it was gone...why keep going?

The needle pierced his skin and he shoved the plunger down, sending his mind into a deeper haze. It took a moment, but then he felt it- pain. An ungodly amount of pain shot through his body and he cried out, hitting his knees on the dirty New York City sidewalk. People had gathered around him and were calling for an ambulance. The sound of sirens- police sirens by the blurred sound of them- reached him.

"Medic, over here!" he heard a voice call out. What a beautiful voice, he thought as he collapsed into the officer's arms.

* * *

><p>Kurt woke hours later, surrounded by machines and with a sore throat. He coughed, but it only made it worse.<p>

"Hello, Mr. Hummel," a nurse smiled at him as she adjusted his IV. "Glad you decided to join us. We lost you for a minute."

Kurt groaned and closed his eyes, feeling the dread wash over him again. He had really done it that time- attempted suicide. This time, he really felt he had nothing to live for.

"The police want to speak with you when you feel ready."

"Sure..." Kurt responded, his voice raspy and deep. "Go ahead."

The nurse gave him a sad look, then nodded and left the room.

"Kurt Hummel?" An officer called from the door a moment later. "I'm Officer Jenner and this is my fellow officer, Officer Dayton. We'd like to talk to you about what happened."

"I tried to OD on heroine and fucking sucked at it," Kurt simply stated, not feeling in the mood to recount the details.

"We usually bring in the officer who worked the call, but he was sent back to the precinct. You shook him up pretty bad. He did, however, convince the others not to charge you with posession."

Kurt turned and looked at the officer, his eyebrow cocked. "And why would he do that?"

"I wouldn't know," the officer shrugged. "Anyway, we have set you up with a NA group and a personal therapist. You'll meet with both once a week."

"Joy," Kurt said deadpanned.

"We'll let you rest, Mr. Hummel," the officer nodded curtly and turned to leave, but stopped at the door briefly.

"Do you know anyone named Josh Wilder?"

"Never heard of him. Why?"

"He's the officer that saved your ass. Have a nice day," he left, leaving Kurt feeling groggy, confused, and still miserable.

* * *

><p>Officer Josh Wilder sat as his desk at the NYPD, twisting his badge nervously in his hands. Officer Jenner should have been back by now. Josh knew it was him from the moment he saw him over three weeks ago. He now held the documented proof that it was him- the man he'd been looking for for over four years now. He joined the force three years before and had progressed quickly. His need to help people kept him determined and aided in catching some pretty rough criminals.<p>

Officer Jenner walked into the office, tapping on the door frame and shaking Josh from his thoughts.

"He's gonna make it. They pumped his stomach and he's awake. Not a happy guy, is he?"

"I wouldn't know," Josh said, glancing down at his picture on the file. "I haven't spoken to him in a long time."

"Well, he should be out tomorrow. I'm sure a visit from an old friend would help him out."

Josh watched his fellow officer walk out then sat down at his desk, slipping the photo off the file and looking at it closer. He had totally changed, but that beautiful face was definitely his.

"Please...promise you haven't let go yet."

* * *

><p>Kurt stepped into his empty apartment the next afternoon, the white hospital band feeling like it was burning his wrist. He shut the door and went to the junk drawer, pulling out the scissors, and cutting it off. Not bothering to put the scissors back, he walked over to his couch and lit a cigarette and rested his head back against the couch. Numb was more of how he had felt that day. He swore if he could just go through life that way then everything would be fine, but he knew it didn't work that way.<p>

A knock at the door caused him to sigh deeply, smoke falling from his lips, and stand up to get it. The door opened to a police officer- a beautiful police officer- standing with his cap in his hand.

"Can I help you?" Kurt asked, perking up only slightly. The man was openly staring at him, mouth slightly agape and eyes full of shock.

"What?" Kurt asked, looking around and lifting his cigarette to his lips.

"N-nothing. Can I come in?" the man asked.

"Yeah, sure," Kurt let him in and closed the door. The man gazed around the apartment a little before turning to Kurt and meeting his eyes. Kurt was captured by the golden blaze in them. Where had he seen those eyes.

"I'm Officer Wilder. I worked your call yesterday."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah...I mean, I don't remember, but...thanks, I guess."

Officer Wilder ran his fingers through his curly black hair. It fell just below his ears and right at his sculpted triangular eyebrows. "Do you mind if we sit?" he sounded nervous.

"Sure," Kurt responded. The officer was beginning to unsettle him a little- everything and nothing was familiar about him. They sat on the sofa and the officer turned to him.

"Kurt...I've been looking for you for a long time...years," Officer Wilder swallowed. Was he about to cry? "I looked all over Ohio, then your Facebook said you were here in New York...I never thought I'd find you."

He was crying. Kurt shifted in his seat.

"And...why were you looking for me?"

"I want you to look at me, Kurt...really look at me...do you recognize me at all?"

Kurt suddenly wanted the man to leave, starting to feel a little anxious. Then the man took his hand in his, making Kurt tense, but what happened next shook him to his core.

_Nothing's gonna harm you_  
><em>Not while I'm around<em>  
><em>Nothing's gonna harm you, darling<em>  
><em>Not while I'm around<em>

That voice. Those eyes. That hair. That sad look of longing. Kurt felt like he had been punched in the stomach, the air sucked from his body as he remembered lying in his bed, facing the same eyes and hair and hearing the same voice sing that song to him.

"...Blaine..."

Blaine hugged Kurt tightly, sobbing and thanking God into the nape of his neck. "I found you. Oh god, I found you and you never forget me!"

Kurt didn't know what to do, but he hugged him back, feeling years of tears and sadness leave him as he clung to Blaine's back.

"But...how-"

Blaine covered Kurt's lips with his, cutting off his question and gripping his cheeks in his hands. The smell of sandalwood overtook Kurt's senses and he kissed back, mind racing and body reacting.

"I missed you so much," Blaine mumbled between kisses.

"God, I missed you, too," Kurt sighed back. Kurt pulled back and held Blaine's face in his hands, looking him over quickly. He now had facial hair, his boyish features sharp with slight age, but the one thing that Kurt noticed that really told him was the whitish scar wrapped around his neck- the rope burn.

"I thought you moved on-"

"He changed his mind, Kurt. He sent me back. I got my second chance."

"Blaine," Kurt smiled and pulled him in close. The feeling of Blaine's warm body and beating heart against his chest excited him to no end. Blaine kissed at his neck and up toward his ear, his breath heavy from kissing.

"Kurt...I've wanted you again since that night in the field...please say you'll have me."

Kurt leaned up. "The field...it was real?"

"I got one more night with you. I told you I wanted to show you how much I loved you..."

Kurt was dizzy from all of the new information he was getting, but it was suddenly forgotten when Blaine kissed him again, this time a bit more gently.

"Please, Kurt...take me."

Kurt groaned deep in his chest and pulled Blaine up off the couch toward the bedroom, both stumbling a little as they tried to get each other's clothes off. Blaine's uniform was trailing from the living room and Kurt's shirt ended up on the doorknob, but when they hit the bed in nothing but underwear, it was irrelevant. Kurt pressed close to Blaine, hearing the beautiful sounds that escaped his throat when he slotted his hips with his.

"Kurt, please," Blaine gasped.

Kurt reached into his nightstand for the lube and slipped a finger inside Blaine after coating them. Blaine hissed and God, he was tight.

"You ok?" Kurt threaded his fingers through Blaine's hair.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I've just...ungh, never done this."

Kurt swore his heart stopped. "You...waited for me?"

Blaine nodded. "Yeah..."

Kurt couldn't help the swimming in his eyes. This man- the man he loved as a boy- waited for him until he found him...and Kurt had sold himself for drugs. He began to pull out of Blaine, but Blaine stopped him.

"Kurt, I know what you've done," he wiped away a tear with his thumb. "It doesn't bother me. I have you now."

Kurt kissed Blaine's palm. "You'll have me forever."

Kurt continued to slowly prepare Blaine, wanting to make this as good as he could for him. By the time Blaine was begging for him, they were both sweating and overwhelmed with emotion. Kurt pushed in and slid an arm under Blaine's back, holding him close as he rocked in and out. It was perfect, just like the field. Two lovers together in a world of their own of nothing but each other. As they both came down from their orgasms minutes later, Kurt looked up at Blaine, a sweet smile in his eyes.

"I love you, Kurt Hummel."

Kurt kissed Blaine's chest- right over the rapid heartbeat that hammered against it. "I love you, too, Blaine Anderson."

Later, Kurt would find out that an angel appeared to the family of Joshua Wilder and told them God was sending Blaine to them. Josh was in a vegetative state and would die shortly. The family agreed and welcomed Blaine as their son. He would learn that Blaine never sought out his mother, brother, or father, but hoped that with Kurt's help, he could help them understand that he was back. He would learn that Blaine had done courageous things, like ended a string of rapes in the city single-handedly and saved seven children from a burning building and talked a man down from the Brooklyn Bridge, saving his life as he had saved Kurt's, but at the moment, they were there, together, two lovers seperated by death come together again. Nothing else in the world at that moment mattered.

-End


End file.
